


Princess of Snow

by Zelinxia



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, Genderswap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-24
Updated: 2012-10-24
Packaged: 2017-11-16 23:51:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 40,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/545197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zelinxia/pseuds/Zelinxia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where the connections between nature and human are on the brink of full extinction, Kurogane embarks on a personal journey to reconnect with her roots. However, a blizzard gets in her way, throwing her into different directions in more ways than one. fem!Kurogane/fem!Fai.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ways of the World

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Warmth in the Cold Winter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1020012) by [lemon_and_chai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemon_and_chai/pseuds/lemon_and_chai). 



> Written for the remix challenge in the Kurogane/Fai community. The basic concept goes like this: _"Kurogane is surprised that Fai, out of all people, is able to find so much warmth and happiness in the cold season."_ I took that concept, concocted this AU, threw the pair in it, AND also made them both female. Therefore, this is a gender flip story, and I am/have doing my best to keep them in character as I see fit.

“But it is precisely the loss of connection with the past, our up-rootedness, which has given rise to the ‘discontents’ of civilization and to such a flurry and haste that we live more in the future and its chimerical promises of a golden age than in the present, with which our evolutionary background has not yet caught up.”  
\- Carl Gustav Jung, _Memories, Dreams, Reflections_

* * *

_For as long as anyone could remember, for as far as the eyes could see and the souls could feel, the world thrived on the harmonic balance between the people and nature. But to say that this connection between human and the elements was simple and primitive was far from the truth._

_It was more than the usual case where humans respected and relied on nature for its bountiful resources to sustain their existences and keep their populations flourishing. The forces of the elements also depended on the life forces of the people, their beating hearts and living souls to preserve their own sanctity and to keep the order of their cycles as seasons come and go and the process of erosion, desertification and so forth occurred over centuries, even millenniums. What started as a cluster of people in an ideal, singular location soon led to the formation of several factions - kingdoms to be precise - where each governed over a particular element and thus established unique bonds with their affixed force of nature. One side of the coin cannot exist without the other, and it was because of this intricate and tightly formed connection that it was essential that this fine and delicate balance between the two should never be disrupted, lest catastrophes and mass casualties strike and cause a large and permanent shift in the ways of the world. But in the end, if one side of the equation had to be selected as the more fragile and susceptible to losses, it would have to be the humans._

_And it was precisely why the advent and rise of civilization that was shaking the core and heart of the ways of the world relied on warfare._

_To turn humans against each other in large, bloody struggles in those times was a new concept, but one that would produce devastating consequences. Soon, one idea would lead to another, injecting their poisons into the hearts and minds of once innocent individuals that convinced them that perhaps there was something far better beyond the scopes of their bonded lives and allegiances with nature. Lives were quickly lost in the brutal bloodshed that was sweeping across the many kingdoms from the outsiders and betrayers, tarnishing the sacredness of the balance between humans and nature. For many, their fates and outcomes were either death at the hands of others or risk their lives and flee forever from their crumbling homelands to find refuge in another safe kingdom or an outside province that had outright declared neutrality in times of the worldly affairs._

_Irregardless, the mass casualties and desolation brought upon the destruction and destitutions of many kingdoms throughout the world. For the rich earth spoiled and the plants shriveled in the Kingdom of Terra and the bountiful water turned murky and lecherous and flooded the Kingdom of Aqua and the rocks began to melt into a pile of burning, molten layers in the Kingdom of Ember. Destroy the precious harmony between humans and nature, rob the lands of the people they seek and thrive on and soon enough they perish and succumb to the worst of their natures. And if there were any sole survivors in the dead and corrupted lands, they would perish from the horrid conditions of their lands. Warfare, the very idea that humans could and would turn against another, was indeed a cruel tragedy._

_And so in the end civilization became just as much the part of the new ways of the world, leaving behind the ruins of kingdoms and unspoken memories of the ancient and beloved connection. For many, they could only look to the future in the present ways of life. And yet in the new lands and provinces that are untouched by the marring leftovers of the rest of the world, there still resided survivors, yet the numbers of them are dwindling._

_Yet even so, it ensured there may very well still be connections to the haunted souls of the past ways of life, connections to the fabric of harmonic balance between humans and nature._

_Perhaps, even connections between elements…_

* * *

It had been days, sizable ones - even _months_ since Kurogane had left the Land of the Lotus Blossoms and her ordinary life of serving as a prolific general for the venerable Princess Tomoyo behind. The warrior had chosen to venture out into the greater confines of the world on her own, even without a horse to accompany her. Kurogane did not wish to have to be concerned for another life when she already knew she was going through great perils in order to go on her solo journey. The general was after all trekking through the regions and borders that housed the dead remains and marred ruins of the fallen kingdoms just as the winter season was beginning. In spite of the hostile and eerie atmosphere and the start of the cold weather, she was well equipped with the warmest clothing in her possession and her sharp dagger had proven to be a worthy weapon to bring along since she had to leave her sword behind. 

The fact that she had barely encountered any other humans, let alone any living beings for that matter over the past few weeks ensured that there was fewer things for Kurogane to be hyper vigilant about. But at the same time, the stark loneliness she felt along the duration of her journey served as a cold reminder of the despair pervading this part of the world, and the frosty air along with the gray skies and falling snow only added to the overall gloom. Death marked its sign everywhere and she had been painfully reminded of that each and every time she had passed through a particular kingdom that she recognized not only from the map she was given, but also from the traces of nature that had been corrupted and left to wither away from the lack of human habitations. Winter and its seasonal attributions of the end of life only added to the overall somber mood. Kurogane wasn’t the type to mull over things heedlessly, but nonetheless she couldn’t help but feel depressed about the true state of the world outside of thriving provinces such as the Land of the Lotus Blossoms.

Pausing, Kurogane shielded her eyes with a hand as she quickly scanned the sky. For now it had stopped snowing and the sky was semi-clear so that she could see the sun accordingly. It was now just a bit past noon, she deducted, and so it meant she would have to strategically walk in a direction where she could find a good place to settle for the evening. Kurogane had been fortunate enough lately to stumble upon abandoned homes that were still standing well despite the years of abandonment and the restlessness of nature. Perhaps she would be able to find another one for tonight, but at the same time she did not keep her hopes up as there was still no guarantee.

Minutes soon easily turned into hours and the general became weary that she had fewer time to find an adequate shelter that would shield her from the cold wintery night. Yet Kurogane kept advancing through the rocky surfaces and occasionally shielded her face from the freezing gale with her thick cloak. It was starting to snow again at that moment, compounding the urgency to find a place. It was sheer wonder that Kurogane would head out on this journey when she and Princess Tomoyo was thoroughly aware that her trip could last to nearly half of a year and that meant spending the entire winter in the vast wilderness and, for the most part, inhospitable territories. Yet Kurogane was a fierce and determined woman and Princess Tomoyo was truly insightful and her judgment had been proved to be trusted and respected time after time. Even though this entire trip may prove to be the most dangerous thing she had ever taken upon herself, Kurogane was sure that she would see things through. A promise was a promise, she would always say and would always live by and sure enough it ensured she would see things through for that elusive purpose.

Just then, Kurogane spotted a thatched shack in the corner of her eyes. Seizing her blessed opportunity, the warrior carefully made her way towards it, thanking the almighty beings for her good fortune just like all of those other times. 

The first think Kurogane did was to check the windows. However, since frosty mist was covering them, she quickly wiped them off with her thick gloves and peered inside. To her surprise, the place was not sparse and bare at all; on the contrary there was a thick rug on the hard, wooden floor and there was even a bed with a pile of quilted blankets at the ready. There was a fireplace that had obviously not been used in a while, but still there was a messy clump of ashes left on the pile of the floor. It was hard to make out if there were a variety of other necessities lying around the pockets of the small room, but nevertheless it was surprisingly neat and tidy considering all of the other abandoned homes Kurogane had to reside in for all of those past evenings. The general could not help but wonder if someone else actually lived around here, for there were no tell-tale signs that this place had been significantly abandoned for many years. However, there were clues that no one was presently residing here. For one, no food or other necessities were lying around so it could mean that this place had been vacant for a while. Kurogane continued checking for other signs that could still ultimately reveal that someone was still residing here, but after a few rounds of careful scanning she concluded that, indeed, no one was truly living here at the moment. With that done Kurogane walked over to the front door and wrestled with the door.

To her huge disappointment and slight alarm, the door was resoundingly locked. Frowning in concern, she tried wrestling with the doorknob again but to no avail the stubborn door would not budge. Not wanting to entirely give up yet, Kurogane stopped with that task and went searching the walls, hoping to find abandoned keys that was hiding somewhere in hopes of entering this shack. But after a few minutes of quick searching, it proved to be fruitless. She knew that nothing like a true, safe shelter was guaranteed and yet at the same time all of these signs were perplexing. There was nothing that showed that somebody had last resided here for the last month or so, but at the same time if the door was locked and no keys were in sight it meant this person had went away but planned to come back soon – if said person was still alive in these regions, that was. Sighing, Kurogane had no choice but to resume in search of a place to settle for the night. The day was getting even later as the sun was sinking down to show that it was now late mid-afternoon.

All of a sudden, the air became rapidly frigid and her air pipes constricted in sudden shock and response to such a dip in the climate. Kurogane fastened the scarf closer around her neck and shielded her entire face. So the snow was starting to accumulate a bit faster, which after all was to be expected in the thick of the cold season. 

But if so, why was the wind increasingly getting stronger and why was the snow starting to fall down so fast that her range of vision was becoming so limited? For whatever reason, this was not good, and by the looks of it, Kurogane had found herself getting caught in the midst of an oncoming blizzard. There was no way that a slow, steady snowfall could become so fierce in just a few minutes. Sure, the areas of the fallen kingdoms had seen such disruptions in the flow of nature's cycles, but beyond the scope of that, blizzards like these had never occurred. Unless it meant that she had found herself in a completely new territory or, to be precise, a fallen kingdom. 

In short, this place must be the Kingdom of Snow.

It had to be, because it would explain why the snow here was reacting extraordinarily chaotic. Now Kurogane was leaning back against the shack, completely taken aback by this new natural catastrophe she had certainly hoped not to run into. But if she didn't do anything she would freeze to death. Most people would give up and turn around to get away from the horrors of the blizzard. But Kurogane wasn't like most people. 

There was no going back now, and she was determined to keep going onward. Because there was a reason she left the comfort and safety of her homeland behind. But the burning question that fueled her journey in the first place was whether she could even consider that land her home, not after her princess had finally revealed her true past. It was this same place that she had dreamed of that was calling for her, and she knew she was so close to reaching it.

Her true destination was the Kingdom of Ember.


	2. Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stranded in what's surely to be the Kingdom of Snow, the venerable general must decide what to do about her situation.

_Fire was everywhere, violently burning and dancing across her eyelids. It started out as small those first few nights but then they kept increasing bit by bit until she felt like choking on them. Ashes were raining down and charring over her eyes and her lungs were coughing violently. Everywhere buildings were being incinerated in the raging maelstrom and people were screaming. But one person’s scream would always stand out to her, and for some reason she would always want to go towards that voice. Why this? Why now?_

* * *

The dreams had been haunting her for nearly a month and yet it had been so horrible and vivid that Kurogane kept thinking it was real. She kept waking up in beads of sweat and with a horrible sinking feeling in her stomach and lungs. But dreams were just dreams and shouldn’t mean something to really fret over about, she would constantly scold herself.

So why then was it that her performance in the training field was so lower than her usual standards? Why was she becoming increasingly hesitant whenever she was near fire? No matter how hard she tried, they persistently would come back to haunt her at night. It became severe that she suddenly felt a sense of disillusionment even in the waking world since the images and terrified voices wouldn’t leave her even when she was awake. But there was no reason to feel like that, Kurogane would chide herself, for she was in command as one of the high ranking generals under the service of Princess Tomoyo, the beloved ruler who took her in as an orphan, cared for her, and sought that she would be raised into a fine, strong woman so that she could be proud of her. The Land of the Lotus Blossoms was a peaceful province that had declared neutrality for as long as anyone could remember. So why then was Kurogane unable to cope with the differences between her dreams and reality?

But her princess would have of course noticed her change in demeanor and Kurogane dreaded that, but at the same time she expected all the same that the matronly leader would eventually seek a private consultation. Sure enough, Kurogane had found herself inside the throne room on one cool autumn evening.

"You wish to speak to me?" Kurogane asked as soon as she stepped inside the wings where the ruler sat comfortably in her throne.

"Yes.” The princess opened her arms to ask her general to come closer. Princess Tomoyo was very much an honorable mother figure to Kurogane and she was very much a daughter to the princess and so it was common for the princess and the general to be on such close terms. Kurogane acquiesced and proceeded to kneel in front of her.

"Has something been troubling you lately?" She knew, Kurogane thought in shame, and she most likely knew because the general had not been at her forte the last few weeks. But dreams were just dreams and she would do all she could to conquer those uneasiness on her own if she had to.

"There's nothing going on," she insisted.

The princess shook her head. "I know how you could be," she said. Princess Tomoyo reached over to cup Kurogane's chin and tilt her head up so that she could do her best to help her troubled general. "You are stubborn, and that can be a good trait, Kurogane. But your stubbornness is not helping you right now, so please tell me whatever the matter is."

The general frowned for she had no choice but to let it out. "I keep having these dreams. Nightmares, I guess you would call them.”

"Ah, I see." The princess nodded in complete sympathy. "And what have you been seeing in those dreams?"

"I keep seeing fire that won't go away. Then there's places that are burning and people screaming, but the voice of a woman especially," Kurogane recounted. But there was something that had been troubling her the most. "But then I always feel like something's choking me, beyond the smoke and ashes in the dreams."

"I am guessing that they have been persistent?" 

Kurogane reluctantly nodded. "And the thoughts won't leave me. It's as if I'm...questioning things in regards to life right now." And she didn't know why and was troubled by that, but she did not want to tell her princess that immediately.

Princess Tomoyo clasped her fingertips together and concentrated heavily in deep thought. Pools of black hair framed her delicate face. Despite the fact that she was nearing her fortieth birthday, the princess still retained her youthful looks. Muttering to herself, the princess kept eying Kurogane.

"It seems to me," she spoke at last, breaking the unsettling silence, "that you have entered your _awakening_."

"My what?"

"It will take some explaining, Kurogane," she cautioned. "The time has come for me to tell you your true past, your origins."

Kurogane scowled. "I very well know that I am an orphan since I was an infant, but I am perfectly fine and normal."

Her princess remained calm, for she was perfectly used to her general's bout of outbursts. "Yes, you are an orphan, but that doesn't _mean_ you are originally from here."

The general opened her mouth in shock, bewildered. "I- how is that even possible?"

Her princess looked at her intently. "Kurogane, did you ever wondered why you were different? Why you were known to possess such 'fiery' disposition and a knack for fighting? Or why you were always sensitive to fire in general and vice versa?"

The questions were preposterous, Kurogane deducted. "Sometimes," she admitted, "but that's just the way I am. Doesn't mean I'm completely different from others."

Princess Tomoyo sighed. "You are more than just a talented fighter with an unusual way with the flames. Your mother did die here, but she was in fact a refugee. She fled and left behind her family, her war-torn home with you when you were just a baby. You come from a different kingdom, one that had been lost and destroyed for a long time.” She paused and noticed how speechless her general was at this sudden notice.

“Kurogane, you hail from the Kingdom of Ember.”

“Kingdom … of Ember?” the other repeated numbly.

She was familiar with the history of kingdoms that had met their dooms due to the loss of the delicate balance between nature and humans from the onslaughts of warfare and the rise of civilization. In fact, there were several refugees inside the Land of the Lotus Blossoms who were displaced from their homes. But as the years went by and the past became mere echoes, these people too had adapted to the ways of modern life and started over. But to finally find out that _she_ was a descendant of a kingdom that crumbled into nothingness was overtly startling. If indeed this was true – and it wasn’t that she questioned Princess Tomoyo for she would never lie on such a subject matter – then it changed everything. This newfound fact of her roots shook her to her core. But instead of assuaging the pains and confusion of her recent vivid dreams, it raised more questions and uncertainty.

“I am afraid so,” the princess said solemnly. “Your mother had hoped that the ember spirits would never communicate and arouse an _awakening_ within you. But if anything, the dreams you had been having lately confirms it.”

“So what does that mean?” Kurogane asked.

“It means that they are calling for you to return in the hopes that you could somehow restore the glory of the kingdom,” Princess Tomoyo answered. “And it also means it is something you had wanted to do for a very long time, even though you are just learning about this now. As you know, Kurogane, it is not easy to break the connections between you and your affixed element, which in your case is ember.”

Kurogane frowned at the heavy implication of all of this. “But what if I don’t want to return there?”

“You think you may not want to, but never underestimate your dreams, _especially_ your hidden connections with your elements,” the princess warned. “I’m afraid that until you try to return to the Kingdom of Ember your dreams will not stop.”

Kurogane didn’t want to be necessarily tied down to something if it prevented her from adjusting to her customary life as the way it was now. It wasn’t that she was disrespecting her origins, but at the same time those dreams were a nuisance. But if it meant that she would have to leave the land for a while in order to settle with these “spirits”, then so be it. 

“Fine,” she decided. “If it means I could shake off these unsettling dreams just so I can go back to the way I am, then I’ll go.”

“Very well,” the princess said. “But it is best that you leave as soon as possible. Even though it will take you a few months, perhaps half a year to get there, not to mention even when winter is on its way, you will still do it?”

“Yes.”

“And even though the roads leading there will be perilous?” she continued asking.

It would be a journey the general would undertake on her own, that was assumed. It would mean leaving the land she had always thought was her true home, until now, for a long time.

“Yes.”

“I understand, Kurogane.” Princess Tomoyo was no longer smiling. “There is one last thing I must tell you.”

She procured a lacquered box that was conveniently lying on the floor. Opening it, she pulled out an item and handed it over to the general. Kurogane accepted it and held the object, examining it. The item turned out to be a rather elaborate torch, made with charred ebony and wrapped in a flammable material. Yet there was something extraordinary about this torch as it was still in good condition despite that it must had been used other times before.

“Your mother bequeathed this to me before her death,” Princess Tomoyo explained. “It was a precious possession in her family and she wanted me to save this should you ever need it. I believe the time has come.”

Kurogane gripped the torch, and even though it was her very first time holding her mother’s possession, she knew and could _feel_ it was something very valuable. She wondered if she was capable and even worthy of possessing this, let alone using it.

“Tomoyo,” she said, pushing away the emotions from all of these revelations. She needed to stay strong. “Even though I may very well be the sole survivor of this kingdom, I promise I will come back here someday. I swear upon it.”

The princess solemnly accepted her general’s words. A promise was a promise, and Kurogane always kept to them to the best that she could. “Until that day, I wish that you find what you seek.” Both the princess and the general were silently coping with this sudden revelation of Kurogane’s imminent departure.

“But I already _know_ what I need to seek,” Kurogane said in defiance. “I want to settle with the spirits to leave me alone once and for all.”

The princess inwardly sighed, yet she knew if her general was focused on something, she would set out to do it on a whim, though a determined one. For the remainder of their private consultation, Kurogane and Princess Tomoyo went straight to talking about when and how soon the general should leave the Land of the Lotus Blossoms and what provisions she would need in anticipation of the approaching winter season. The princess also advised the general to be cautious with fire because of her recent _awakening_ – especially with the torch - and that therefore it would be a good time for her to practice being at ease with it anytime she set down somewhere along the way and had to start a campfire.

After Kurogane left the throne room, the princess was still in deep thought. Even though Kurogane had the ambitions to visit the ruins of her original homeland in order to wrestle with the nagging spirits and their consequential connections in order to feel at peace back here in the Land of the Lotus Blossoms, she had a feeling that there may be more in store along the way if her general truly wanted that inner peace she was seeking.

* * *

Kurogane didn’t mean to meander her way into the dangerous Kingdom of Snow. She knew this place was probably the most brutal and dangerous uninhabited land among all of the fallen kingdoms. But now here she was, stuck in the pounding blizzard and pressing her back against the cold walls of the locked shack and helplessly shielding her exposed face from the howling winds and flurry snow with her thick black cloak. Unfortunately, even though the snowfall was moderate when Kurogane had discovered this abandoned place, the blizzard had completely come along with no warning. And now the general was sure that she could no longer see the place she had just walked from. All of the pathways from each direction of the shack were caught in the heavy storm so her range of vision was severely limited, especially now that since the sky was so thick that sunlight was essentially nonexistent. This truly was a bad predicament, for if she were to even scavenge for a piece of rock or something to break the window of the shack to get in for emergency shelter there was no way she could patch the holes up and expect to be protected from the malevolent snow.

Well, she couldn’t just _stand_ there forever otherwise she would freeze to death. Better keep walking around cautiously and try than give up in despair, she thought. The chances that she would find shelter, let alone leave behind this dead kingdom alive, was clearly getting slimmer as time ticked by, but perhaps there was a way – maybe even a cavern she could seek shelter in for any warmth. Warmth…but of course, she suddenly realized.

“Mother’s torch…” she muttered to herself, but even then it was hard to speak out loud in the face of the harsh weather. 

Wasting no time, Kurogane scrambled in her traveling pack for the torch Princess Tomoyo had presented to her on that evening. Even though she had her thick gloves on, she could feel the sturdy ebony of the torch. Grabbing it out, she also fished around to find pieces of rough wood sticks. However, they were thinner and consequently harder to grasp with her gloves, so Kurogane wrenched one off. Cursing at how freezing and harsh the cold overwhelmed her hand, she forced herself to grasp a stick and struggled to get the torch lighted. It was then that the general realized how foolish she must be if she had hoped to start a fire, let alone keep it burning when the blizzard was producing such hostile gales that could easily snuff out her torch fire. The punctuating cold air was not making it easy as Kurogane bit her lip to ease the pain and tried her hardest to maneuver her freezing hand to start a fire. “Come on now,” she kept saying, and finally she was able light her mother’s torch.

To her utter amazement, the flame didn’t even start small nor was it immediately doused from the whipping wind. It instantly spread to every tip of the flammable material and burst with its bright red-orange glow, instantly warming her hand and her cold face. Kurogane placed the torch in a crumbling bracket lining the shack and shoved her hand back in the glove before reclaiming her blessed item. Perhaps it was foolish to think so, but hell in this predicament she had never been gladder for such a companion. But now Kurogane had to decide where she should keep walking because she no longer knew which compass direction she was in, being foolish enough to lost track of her position of where she came from before this horrible blizzard swept in and overwhelmed her.

As she held the torch at bay in front of her, she was able to see slightly better despite her limited range of vision. Even though the howling wind was lashing out in full force, the longer she observed them, the clearer she saw that everywhere the wind was blowing in circular and random motions – except for one area. She walked towards that spot where the wind was unusually predictable compared to the others, which was most intriguing considering this was a blizzard that was going horribly out of control in the fallen Kingdom of Snow.

Curious at this peculiar area, Kurogane illuminated the path the best she could in front of it with her torch. After waving it back and forth, she saw that the wind was blowing in one direction - which was against her face at the moment. Even though this wind pattern was still treacherous, a large part of her instinct told her that _this_ should be the direction she should carefully proceed towards. Her torch was still miraculously well-lit and alive, demonstrating that it could withstand the forces of the blizzard. Really, there weren’t many options Kurogane could have or take at this point, so it was with grave determination that the general started making her way in the only direction where the wind and snow was having their own pattern. Clutching her cloak closer around her body and making sure that everything amongst her possessions was secure, Kurogane proceeded carefully in that direction.

She already had lost track of time ever since she chose to inspect the shack, and with the current predicament she had ended up in, there was no point in determining how late it is. For all she knew, the sun could have already been sinking in the horizon - and yet the blurry surrounding was not completely dark, so she still had hope that she could locate a safe spot before complete darkness left her stranded with her torch as her only safety companion. And so it stayed like this for a while as Kurogane continued checking for the source of the stray windy condition that proved not to be as dangerous as the others and advanced forward accordingly. Regardless, time seemed to stretch eons for the general, and it was a sheer wonder that Kurogane could still stay alert in such a hostile environment. Yet even so, she did not have bountiful energy supply for soon enough she found out that the further she walked and waved the torch, the more wearisome she became. It was only because she was using all of her mental and physical strength to keep on going, she would keep telling herself, and that was why her body was getting heavily exhausted. Still, at the very least, Kurogane could still feel each and every part of her nerves and muscles in sore pains and coldness, but at least she knew that all vital organs and functions were operating and that there was no danger of her freezing. No matter what, she gritted against the bitter and cold winds, she was bound to find a suitable shelter and make it out alive. A promise was a promise.

But soon, even a strong and persistent person like her was starting to get burdened by the harsh trek through the blizzard, and it seemed that any moment, the general from the Land of the Lotus Blossoms would lose complete hope on ever making out of this dead kingdom alive. At least the torch was still lit and alive as ever, and perhaps it was because she was from the Kingdom of Ember and thus had a mystic connection with fire, but it did gave her an ounce of strength and an amazing source of warmth. And how soon she discovered that it was an element worthy of trust and companionship, for at last, the general spotted something dark in the distance.

Kurogane waved her torch again and squinted. Looming in front of her was a massive gray slab of rock with an even darker opening. At last, she had found a cavern, and her arduous expedition was worth it in the end. Kurogane knew it was getting really late, so she hastily made her way over to the opening. Why, the cavern must be eagerly greeting her, for she realized something equally extraordinary and unusual about this location. Perhaps the cold was getting the best of her, but here, the blizzard seemed to be dying down and now to her immense relief, she could see everything. Silently thanking the gods for her good fortune again, Kurogane went increasingly closer to the cavern's mouth. It was getting bigger and bigger. _Almost there_ , every fiber of her body wanted to scream. Kurogane could see it, see that it was about to swallow her, and by the gods she would-

_Wham!_

Her body screamed in shock as she fell on her side hard in the cold snow. The torch nearly fell out of her hand but she was able to keep a good grip on it. Kurogane didn't even have to check whether it was extinguished or not yet, because soon enough she had to roll out of the way of whatever blasted thing had just viciously knocked her down. Grunting, the general was now on her back and registered in shock just exactly what was looming over her.

It was a beast, a foul hideous beast that easily outmatched the tallest man in height and girth as it stood menacingly over her. Its coat was white and gray yet it was far from smooth and woolen. Protruding from its head was two horns and saliva was dripping down from its bared yellow teeth – more so fangs. The monster snared and uttered a loud growl, lifting one paw at the ready to attack again, but Kurogane was prepared.

She automatically retrieved the dagger from her belt and swiped it in front of her. How could she let her guard down like that? She was ashamed of herself – she, one of the strongest generals under Princess Tomoyo, not being on her guard for any vile monsters in the vicinity. But now wasn't the time to curse about her stupidity. Kurogane quickly dodged the beast and sidestepped, maddeningly finding the creature's weak side. It had been many days since she had to defend herself even though she made sure to train during her journey, plus she was not used to fighting in such dreary conditions. But she had to fight, keep on fighting to spare her life - not when she was that close to getting inside the cavern. She had to get rid of this beast to ensure it would not get in her way again after she headed out again to resume her journey.

But the weather was unmerciful again and soon enough the wind picked up severely again, blowing snow everywhere. Now it was extremely hard to see anything around her. And the beast had to blend in so well. Kurogane tried to rely on hearing for the beast's stealthy attacks, but alas she found that the wind was violently too loud for her to even pick up other noises. Cursing, Kurogane swiped her dagger violently in the air for defensive measures while keeping the torch afloat in the other. But even the flames were not helping much because soon her lungs were starting to hurt and she couldn't breathe. In an instant Kurogane thought back to her dreams when ashes and other malevolent forces were robbing her of her breath and just then she heard that same roar again. Heaving in pain, she spun around with her dagger and for an instant the beast's black nose hovered in the air. Kurogane was ready to strike it in the face but soon found that her body was getting rapidly weaker.

She missed.

The beast struck its paws again and knocked her dagger out in the snow, where she couldn't even find it. There were no other weapons in her arsenal, and there was no way she could risk scrounging the thick layer of snows for her beloved dagger. Huffing in pain, Kurogane started waving her torch violently in front of the beast in a last ditch effect. Nothing happened, and she felt increasingly foolish. Here she was, a proud and strong general of the Land of the Lotus Blossoms, stuck in the blizzard facing a beast without any weapon and aimlessly waving her torch back and forth. She never thought she could end up like this - not here and not now. Kurogane just wanted the beast to go away, and gods damn it, if fire could spare her from the cold snow, then this region’s beast should be afraid of this, it had to be. Swearing even louder inside her head, Kurogane kept dodging it as best as she could. But all the while she could feel her body dangerously growing weary with fraught and exhaustion. 

_I'm warning you!_ she thought, waving her torch more vehemently for good measures. And yet to her horror, each and every time she was waving it she could feel her energy being quickly depleting from her. Everything was too much - and if she couldn't get the beast to leave her alone soon, she swore she could collapse. Her vision was getting fuzzy, her chest was getting tighter and now she found herself gasping for air. The blizzard was violently wavering on and off. _Please,_ she was begging at that point, _don't let me die._

And then, just then, the flame in her torch leapt extraordinarily. She felt her heart leaping along with it the same time the beast roared, but this time in fear. It retreated from her and immediately lost its offensive stance, running away from her. Kurogane could only stare at her torch in awe, but even to her eyes the flame was getting dimmer. Nothing was getting clearer anymore. Her head was filling empty and she could feel blood rushing maddeningly to her chest, where her lungs wanted to burst from the frigid air. _No! I can't die, I can't die, I can't die…_

But even she couldn't control this as the world around her started to turn completely pitch black.

 _I can’t die…I can’t die…_ Not when she was so close to that damn cavern.

Her head felt dangerously light the same moment she lost control of her muscles. 

_I can’t die…_

The torch dropped out of her hands and landed in the snow, surely going to end up being extinguished. Perhaps it was her imagination, but the wind was dying down again. Too late though.

_I…can’t…_

With her eyelids snapping shut and her lips quivering violently in the cold, the woman from the Kingdom of Ember collapsed in the Kingdom of Snow.


	3. Lady Kurogane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurogane is in for a completely cold shock.

_It was getting harder and harder to breathe in the thick smoke. Her lungs were quickly being filled with acrid ashes that stung her eyes and the taste of it fouled her mouth. The flames wouldn’t go away and more buildings were being destroyed, more lives were being lost. Over and over she kept hearing that same woman screaming, screaming…then it gradually morphed into a slow, mournful yelling. Flashes of spirits lingered in her eyes, their mere shadows being taunted by the flames. Then something started to temper with the ember, something cold and vapid. It was soothing, and yet it hurt, it bloody hurt…_

* * *

Air, air was what she needed, and her lungs finally broke free from the grips of suffocation. The moment oxygen came back into her head Kurogane opened her eyes, gasping and heaving heavily. Her face felt tingly and for a moment she wondered if she was actually dead or was still lying in the pile of snow, frozen and unable to move at all. But for certainty what she felt on her back was not wet and cold. Slowly her vision was returning to normal as blood seeped back into her head and into her sensory organs and Kurogane started to make out the sky – or the contrary, it was a dark, rocky ceiling.

Was she actually in the cavern? _But how?_

Far along the cavern Kurogane could barely make out a hallow refraction of sunlight, meaning that she was far but still within reach of the entrance. She remained lying down, feeling her heart beating. She was still alive somehow, and miraculously the general had been dragged into this cavern. So somebody had to be here and it meant that there was another human presence around. It had been quite a while since she last encountered another fellow of her kind owing to the ravaged kingdoms she had passed through the past few months. The senses in her fingers were coming back to her along with other extremities. Warmth was washing over her sore muscles, and now Kurogane was hit with all the pains and exhaustion her body had been fighting with in face of the harsh blizzard and in the unforeseen fight with that beast, the beast she hoped had left her alone (and her alleged savior) for good. With all of her important senses back in her disposal, Kurogane finally became aware that she had been stripped out of her gears and that her thick black cloak was removed from her. Scanning in the dim recesses of the cavern, she saw her cloak perched on a rock to dry. But that certainly didn’t explain what thick material was lying on top of her, which clearly was thrown on her as a makeshift insulator.

Wanting to further investigate and get ready to venture out, Kurogane mustered any energy she had – which was very low – to push herself up. Wincing in pain from her burning chest, the general managed to prop herself up with her hands, and the warm material slowly slid off of her upper body. She clumsily clutched one end with a gloved hand to examine it.

What was used as a blanket actually turned out to be another cloak, but unlike hers which was made with the warmest material from the Land of the Lotus Blossoms, this one had a different feel to it. It was woolen white with intricate blue details adorning it. The patterns were simply enchanting, and the textiles were carefully arranged to form a mosaic of wintery images. Whoever had saved her must have been a wealthy person to own and even wear such a precious cloak. There were no traces of it being worn out. Kurogane was mesmerized yet shaken by its magnificence. Without even realizing it, she slipped off one of her gloves to caress the material and to her relief and surprise it was soft to the touch. This was surely a cloak made with such coveted material and care and one that would prove sufficient to withstand weather even like the blizzard howling outside of the cavern. To say the least, she found it alluringly comforting despite the predicament she was still in and despite how worn out her body was.

“Ah! I see that you have finally woken up.”

Alarmed, Kurogane fidgeted and quickly let go of the cloak, letting it slink back down to the damp cavernous ground as she grabbed her glove and wrenched it back on her naked hand. With her heart beating furiously, she hotly yelled back, “Don’t startle me like that!”

At the same time she shouted in spite of her embarrassment, Kurogane finally looked to see whoever it was and froze. The voice had already given away that the person was female, but she was still struck by the contrast between her and this woman. Kurogane was tan with black hair that grew slightly past her shoulders and had striking red eyes to suit her fiery persona.

On the other hand, the stranger was pale with a hint of rosiness tainting her cold cheeks. Her hair was even lighter than the sun and it reached past her slender back. She was dressed in a thick, long sleeve white dress with blue patterns etched along the hems and bodice that eerily resembled those on the cloak Kurogane had been caught admiring. But her most striking feature was her crystal blue eyes that further accentuated everything about her – and Kurogane felt an ambivalence of coldness and friendliness, solemnity and happiness in them.

“I’m so sorry. Forgive me then,” the other said, slightly bowing her head in shame.

Kurogane sighed, slightly aghast too since she did not expect to snap at her obvious savior upon their introduction. “You don’t have to-”

But before she could even wrack up words to humbly thank the woman standing in front of her, the general spotted something large that was looming closer towards them. It was edging behind the standing woman and it was bewildering that she wasn’t even reacting at all. Eyes widening in horror, Kurogane realized it was the same beast that had just attacked her and caused her to nearly die. And now the two of them were trapped in this cavern, with her being rendered frail to fight fiercely and the other didn’t even seem to possess something to defend them both with. Kurogane had thought she had finally gotten a break from the entire ordeal.

“Watch out!” she yelled, starting to use all her might to stand up while ignoring the fatigue in her body. If she wasn’t able to rush to go against the beast once again and if the other woman didn’t act fast, they would both be in deep trouble, or worse, dead. There was no way in hell she would experience the terror of near-experience with death again.

But instead of listening accordingly and running for her life, the other smiled first and then burst into laughter, throwing the general off guard. “Oh this?” she said in amusement, waving her hand at the creature behind her. “Don’t worry, she’s my companion.”

“ _Hah?!_ ”

To add to her incredulous answer, the blonde innocently tucked a finger under the creature’s chin and was petting, even tickling it. It made an odd combination of a noise comprised of roaring and purring and cooing and before Kurogane knew it, the beast was no longer a beast for in an instant it rapidly shape-shifted into something that could be taken as a furry wooly bear – gods maybe a polar bear if she recalled correctly from her cultural lessons back at home. Kurogane wasn’t surprised if this was still a dream, a bizarre one to boot.

“Chii~” the other cooed. Chii snarled in contentment and rubbed its nose gently along the other’s hand. “I know you startled her and all, but are you okay? Did Lady Black hurt you?”

This was seriously too much for the general to comprehend. What kind of sane person would have a monstrous, shape-shifting companion that would go by “Chii”, which was, in her opinion, a far too cute name for her sensibilities? “Lady Black” finally found her vocal chords working properly again. “ _Me_ hurt it? It was clearly the other way around,” Kurogane insisted in indignation. “And why didn’t you stop it from attacking me?” 

“Because I wasn’t around, and besides Chii only wanted to protect me from potential threats,” she answered as if it made perfectly sense when in fact it still didn’t. Patting it once again in deep reassurance, the woman muttered something to Chii before it ran out of the cavern. “And since you had a dagger, Lady Black, she thought you really _were_ a danger.”

Yes, she’s a warrior and had proven to be deadly before in those times the Land of the Lotus Blossoms were being ambushed by outsiders caught in the strife of wars. But it was still an insult of some sort that in her circumstances that she posed as a danger. “Of course I had to defend myself,” Kurogane said. “I nearly _died_.”

She found it deeply unsettling that this woman was not apologizing at all for the freak accident that left her to collapse in the snow, leaving her on the verge of freezing to death. And yet again – this stranger had also saved her life to further complicate matters.

For a moment, no traces of silliness could be found on the blonde’s face, in particular, the frame around her thin lips. Her eyes cast down momentarily in a deep, apologetic gesture, wringing her hands together. “I apologize, Lady Black, for not taking all of this seriously at first. The very least I had done for you was take you inside here in hopes of sparing your life.”

This woman seemed sincere, the general carefully concluded, yet all the same she decided it was best to keep her guard up for the moment. “Fine,” she said, slowly sitting back down to rest for a bit longer. Although one other thing was still ticking her off. 

“And to get your bloody facts straight, my name is _not_ Lady Black. It’s Kurogane.”

There was a slight twitch in the corner of the stranger’s mouth. So what if their manner of speeches were pretty much the opposite? “It’s a pleasure to meet you then, Lady Kurogane,” the woman finally said, even going all her way to hitch the hem of her thick dress to curtsy. It would have been perfectly acceptable to be addressed so politely, except for the fact that Kurogane was one of Princess Tomoyo’s strongest and vigilant generals and thus was far from a noble and fair lady. She really didn’t know what to make exactly of this.

“Funny,” Kurogane said. “You act and speak so much as if you were a princess.”

As soon as those words rolled off of her tongue, she instantly regretted it. There was something icy coming from the other’s eyes that was shiver inducing that seemed to make the entire cavern unfriendly and extremely cold, but then the bitterness went away and soon she was calm as usual.

“My, my, you really do have a sharp tongue,” she remarked, but even then Kurogane could hear the faintness of iciness in her voice. “Since you introduce yourself, I should too. My name is Fai.” 

_Fai._ There was an otherworldly feeling to her name and its airiness contrasted with Kurogane's with its own sharp and direct connotations. The name rolled off of her tongue like gentle snow falling off the mantle, and it merely added to many distinctions between her and the general. Her name was foreign just like her physical appearance - and yet Kurogane found that it fit her essence.

She cleared her throat after Fai's formal introduction, albeit, a rebuke to Kurogane's comment on her very lady-like speech and mannerisms. "Well, uh, Fai..." It was now or never. "Thank you. For saving my life," she finished. 

The same smile came back on Fai's face, and for a minute, Kurogane thought her blue eyes were glimmering extraordinary. "You're welcome, Lady Kurogane," she said. There she was, still going on her polite addressing.

"Don't," Kurogane started. "I'm far from a lady."

"Oh I know," the other said bemusedly. "What with you traversing in this dangerous blizzard and possessing a dagger. My, I have never met such a fierce person in my life, let alone a lady like you."

The general gave a light scowl, wondering how Fai could, for god’s sake, be teasing her, _politely_. She still felt the pain in her body, but she still wanted to prepare in haste and set out while the day was still bright, or as bright as it could be in this thorny weather. Since it was morning, Kurogane concluded that she had been knocked out stone cold for many hours ever since she frightfully collapsed in the snow within bare reaches of the cavern's mouth. If she were truly a lady like how Fai seemed to insist on addressing her, then she would feel horrible for leaving so soon, or she would humbly request that she was eternally grateful for her savior's action and politely retreat. But Kurogane was a warrior and warriors had their missions, so it didn’t bother her if she wasn’t going to be coy and gently let Fai know she should be off with many apologies crammed into her words.

"Speaking of 'traversing in blizzard', there's a reason I was doing so. I'm in a hurry and must leave at once," she informed Fai in such bold declaration.

Fai did not say anything as she slowly got up again. Kurogane winced but took it in stride as she took a step forward, inching forward bit by bit to retrieve her gears and cloak. She wondered if she could find her dagger out in the snow along with her torch and other possessions. Donning her gears and wrapping her cloak around her along with the scarf, she foraged around the surrounding rocks in case Fai had also been nice enough to reclaim her items and lay them there.

"Were you by any chance looking for this?" 

Kurogane whirled around upon hearing Fai and her eyes immediately seized on her pack that Fai had just dragged out of nowhere. The blonde was smiling as she waited to hear back from the general. Kurogane walked over to her, silently muttering that indeed it was and did not hesitate at all to grab for it. But to her surprise and much annoyance, Fai quickly and successfully hauled her pack away and dangled it behind her. 

"Oi," Kurogane huffed in irritation. "I said it's my pack. Now hand it over to me."

"And just head out in the blizzard in your weakened condition?" Fai was no longer smiling. "I'm afraid that is a very foolish decision, Lady Kurogane."

"I'll be fine," the general insisted. "I had traveled in weaker conditions before. Besides, I've been able to find my way here so I will find my way out of here." But that was with the assistance of her torch, she remembered, and for a fleeting moment Kurogane felt burning shame for losing her mother's precious heirloom.

"You were _very_ lucky that you could outlast this blizzard," Fai said sternly. "I have come across many bodies that had wandered here and were too unfortunate to get lost in here and, therefore, have frozen to death. Just because you were fortunate to make it alive to where you are standing now doesn’t mean you got another chance out there."

It was true that the blizzard was abnormal given that they were in the ruins of the Kingdom of Snow and that it was a wonder Kurogane had survived this in one night. Yet one thing was now puzzling her, and it was out of sheer blindness that Kurogane had not even thought about it until now.

"What about you?" Fai raised her eyebrows at Kurogane's tone. "How did _you_ survive this bloody blizzard?"

She had a hunch that this question would be seen as intrusive on Fai's end and, sure enough, there was a period of silence. Tension was building again and she could feel the coldness in it, coldness beyond the chills blowing into the cavern just now. For the woman who was, in nearly every way, the opposite of Kurogane, Fai actually had things she did not seem intent on answering and giving away just so soon.

"I thought it was obvious,” she said, and again there was that tone of iciness, but very faint, leaking in her voice. "I'm a native of this place." 

Fai walked over to where Kurogane had carelessly abandoned the soft cloak on the ground and picked it up. “You see,” she said, running her gloved hand over the beautiful and intricate details that had mesmerized the general in the first place, “this pattern was very common throughout the kingdom.” 

Of course Fai would be a native of the Kingdom of Snow, owing to the finely distinguished winter symbols that were present on her elaborate cloak. Kurogane normally would have put two and two together easily, but she was sorely not making connections so easily that morning – which she entirely blamed on her slightly impaired condition given the fact that she fainted in the snow after her horrible ordeal from the previous day.

But she was shocked, which was finally registered in her system. Shocked that there was actually a survivor left in the ruins of a kingdom, let alone this one, and was still standing there in front of her. Now that Kurogane was finding her sense of clarity coming back to her, she realized the extent of the other’s condition.

The roots of Fai’s hair were actually golden, but as it escalated further down to her back, the hair gradually turned lighter. Her face appeared tired and worn out, but most of all, her lips were not quite a healthy shade of pink or red, nor was it blue or purple. Pale was a fitting description. For a moment, Kurogane wondered if she should step forward and grab her, touch her, to convince herself that Fai was not an ephemeral spirit. Feel her heart beating to ensure she was just as much alive as Kurogane was.

“You look troubled, Lady Kurogane.” Fai’s words snapped her back to cold reality.

“I was wondering if there were any other native survivors living in this land,” she replied, for it was the first quick excuse she could come up with. The real reason she was troubled was how certain she was that Fai was actually not in the best conditions as well and that if she didn’t put on her cloak soon she would feel the wraths of the blizzard and be subjected to the cold, putting her own life in jeopardy. There was concern, but then she rationalized that if Fai was a native – and there was no doubt about that – then perhaps she was able to withstand the freezing weather better than Kurogane herself. 

Again, there was a cold moment of silence before the blonde answered. “No.” Just then, another blast of wind made its way into the confines of the cavern where Fai had selected for them. “There is no one else alive in this kingdom except for you and me.”

Unexpectedly, the more Fai was slowly answering questions, the more questions Kurogane had that were pressing on the tip of her tongue and wanting to ask the other. Questions such as how was she able to survive on her own as the last standing human in this dying place, a dying kingdom that used to thrive and essentially depend on its natives’ habitation to be in harmony; or how long it had been since the Kingdom of Snow had collapsed into despair and if any other people were able to at least leave behind this place forever. Perhaps the question that was pressing on Kurogane’s mind the most was how Fai had coped with her solitude all this time, especially in this depressing condition of all things. But no, Kurogane remembered how she would be stubborn and refuse to answer immediately whenever Princess Tomoyo was keen and asked her these sorts of questions, and so the general forced herself to step back for a bit. Just for now, and to go with a safer question.

“So how on earth are you able to live here and still survive?” And just as she heavily suspected how uncomfortable Fai was feeling, the general noticed how the other was just about to bite on her lip, but quickly resisted such impulse.

“Ah, you’re asking far too many questions,” Fai said, shaking her head. “I shall think that at the very least I should be able to ask you some questions too. But then I remember that you’re not a typical lady, Lady Kurogane.” 

It was slightly infuriating yet more so intriguing to Kurogane that Fai would resort to her own methods of teasing whenever she felt intruded upon what many would consider very sensitive matters.

“But come now,” Fai resumed. “If you still insist on leaving, then the nicest thing you can do is eat what I have been preparing for us this morning. We can have a nice conversation amongst ourselves and then if all goes well and if the conditions are good, then I will escort you out. I do hope that you take all of this into consideration.”

How was it possible that Kurogane got so distracted with these exchanges of questions where, for the most part, Fai would not answer immediately – even shielding and giving out responses that were carefully planned out on her end – that she forgot how she was focused on leaving the region as soon as possible to resume a less dangerous and risky path to make way to the ruins of the Kingdom of Ember? In many ordinary cases, the general refused to let seemingly trivial things get in the way of her missions. It wasn’t so much that she always wanted shortcuts in general, although she would accept them all the same. It was more so where Kurogane was a person who viewed things in a straightforward fashion and therefore applied her principles in all manners of her life, and so it was heavily suitable for her position as a venerable general for Princess Tomoyo. She always set goals and aimed for them in a direct and honest matter, strongly preferring not to be idle and relax for a bit. To get distracted, to even err on the side and away from the main point was to increase the chance of moving further away from the original mission; perhaps even risk the likelihood of ever obtaining the goal.

And yet, it was tempting to stay for who knew how much longer, but hopefully not for another evening or so, in the presence of another human being and to strike some conversations the best she could. While Kurogane was often not much to talk in the companies of others in the royal palace, it didn’t mean she lacked the capabilities of participating in conversations. She just picked her words and opportunities to chat just as much as she picked her battles. Kurogane was fine being in solitude for moments of times, was content with being alone deep in reflection and even meditation. But if anything, the last few months of traveling without encountering any signs of other humans, yet alone just life in general, was proving to be even a straining and depressing weight on the general. Yes, Fai was strange and unusual in many ways, but it was glaring that she sought company as much, perhaps even more than Kurogane. And now that the general had already entered and perhaps unintentionally intruded in the personal tales of Fai, it did struck her that if she were to refuse Fai’s offer and set haste that it would be erroneously cruel of her to leave the woman alone.

“So long as I leave this place before the sun set,” was Kurogane’s answer. It seemed to amuse the other to no ends because as soon as she said that, when the general could have said it any other way, Fai chuckled.

“You’re so stubborn,” she said, and for a moment Kurogane was reminded of Princess Tomoyo for that was something the mature leader would frequently point out in sheer amusement. “But if that is your way of saying ‘yes’, then I am happily obliged. Now if you will excuse me for a moment.”

Fai left the general to herself as she meandered out of the cozy pocket of the cavern and clearly into another where she must had been preparing food as she was waiting for Kurogane to wake up earlier. Feeling a bit bored, the warrior stepped over to where Fai had carelessly left her pack behind a pile of large rocks. She opened it and checked the contents to assess what was there as well as to see if anything was missing as a result of her fall from yesterday. From the looks of it, the items had been searched through by Fai as it was left completely rearranged. Why the other didn’t bother to reorganize to conceal her search was a mystery. All of her essentials were still there except for her beloved dagger and of course her mother’s torch. She knew that she ought to search for them thoroughly somehow in the snow, which would be no easy feat considering the blizzard. But how could she expect to continue her journey without a handy weapon at her side, one that was fit for fighting and other practical needs such as preparing food? Let alone, if she lost her family’s prized torch forever, she wondered if the ember spirits would ever forgive her. Frowning in consternation, Kurogane left her pack on the rock and walked over to the other pocket to where Fai would be.

The Kingdom of Snow native was seen crouching, stirring a simmering cauldron that was carefully raised above a stack of driftwood and fire. Fai’s brows were furrowed in deep concentration as she was making the last preparations of their meal, throwing in more ingredients that were contained in small vials and bottles. There was a different bag lying closer to her and it was evident that it was her own traveling pack where she managed to store necessities, even though it was surprisingly small. She was trying to tend to the fire at the same time, muttering and increasingly frowning at the sight of the flames dying down rather quickly. Kurogane couldn’t stand much anymore seeing how clearly frustrated the other was trying to keep the contents in the cauldron heated well enough to finish the food, so the general walked over to where Fai was. Having actually listened to Princess Tomoyo’s strong advice that she should work with fire in general on the duration of her journey, Kurogane had come to know how to ensure a cooking fire could last for as long as it needed to be through taming the embers directly.

“Oi, you got anything to strike more fire?” she asked as soon as she was standing next to Fai.

The blonde waved her hand towards her bags. “There should be more dry matches in my pack. You may look for some and see how it goes.”

Nodding, the general went over to the pack and rummaged inside through more empty bottles and containers before finding what she was looking for. Pulling off a glove, she took several matches and picked up a rock that seemed just right. She took one match and quickly ran it across the rock. Of course, nothing came yet so Kurogane continuously ran it over the cold rock while picking up the pace to build on the friction between it and the match. At last, a hint of flame erupted from the end. She then threw it into the pile of dying flames and without any pause she picked up another match and proceeded to do the same. The process was repeated many times until soon enough Kurogane had thrown in at least ten more matches. Bending down, Kurogane carefully concentrated on the flames slowly building their way up. If her mother’s torch was able to stay lit when she was trekking through the heavy blizzard and if her roots were traced to the dead Kingdom of Embers, she figured just as much that she could do something about keeping fire alit. While Fai was still watching over the food, the general was once more practicing controlling the flames. It was still tricky at moments, but bit by bit, each time the embers were caving in, she managed to maneuver it to keep strong. Kurogane then wondered how long she would have to keep doing his because soon enough she felt beads of cold sweat dripping down her face. Her body had finally registered just how hungry it was to make matters worse and it was feeling even weaker.

“Thank you for helping out. It’s alright. You may stop now, Lady Kurogane.”

Relieved, Kurogane let her body and mind break the instant connections with the flames and retreated. As soon as she did, the flames started dying down again. Fai carefully tipped the contents from the cauldron into empty containers she had pulled out from her bag and set one down in front of Kurogane. 

“Eat,” she simply commanded. 

Kurogane didn’t protest at all as she gingerly lifted the container – which was surprisingly well insulated not to burn the holder’s hands – and blew on the steam. Slowly she gulped down the content and to her chagrin it was surprisingly strong and sweet. Whatever local winter crop there was left in this land was seriously strange as was to be expected of foreign lands and customs, along with weather systems. Generally Kurogane didn’t like to eat sweets if she could avoid it back in the Land of the Lotus Blossoms, where ironically the plants the land was named after were actually sweet and thus she would always boldly shy out of eating the delicacies. Yet she couldn’t be picky at all for once since she was running low on energy from exhaustion from the previous day, not to mention that she had just set on the task of watching over the fire. Soon enough she found that the last remnants of the soup was draining down her throat. Finished, she set the container down and finally caught from the corner of her eye that Fai had _not_ been eating all this time. Instead, the snow native was curiously intent on _looking_ at Kurogane, and it downright felt unsettling.

“Aren’t you going to eat at all?” she asked.

“I shall shortly.” Fai did, however, took one quick sip of the soup she made, which Kurogane couldn’t help but snort at just how “shortly” Fai ate. She set her container down, still looking at Kurogane but with a frown of disapproval at the other’s rather unladylike behavior. 

“I beg your pardon. I didn’t _mean_ to make you feel uncomfortable, but I couldn’t help it, Lady Kurogane, I couldn’t. I watched as you literally sweat over making sure that the fire stays well lit and large enough to keep the food cooking. That was very impressive, I have to admit.”

“Oh that?” Kurogane stared hard at the ground, sucking in her breath at Fai’s oddly flattering compliment for she didn’t know what to make quite of it. “It was…nothing.”

“Oh so you _do_ have lady qualities then, being so humble and all,” Fai teased, in which Kurogane scowled back in embarrassment. “But no, I truly mean it, Lady Kurogane. I have never seen anything like that before. So it only leads me closer to a conclusion about who you really are.”

Fai took another sip of her soup in the meantime, quickly scanning her makeshift fire pit that had by now died down. “Yes…it makes all sense now…” she muttered to herself.

“What makes sense?” Kurogane asked, wondering what on earth Fai was thinking now.

“Well, I’m sure you already know. It’s just that _I_ myself have reached to the conclusion. Ah, I’m sorry, let me go back one step.” 

Fai drank some more of her soup and for a moment Kurogane seriously wondered if the other was trying to build up suspense here. “Well?” the general egged on.

“I believe that you hail from the neighboring Kingdom of Ember. Am I right, Lady Kurogane?”

Thank the gods she had finished her soup earlier, otherwise if she was eating at that moment she surely would have swallowed it down the wrong way. “I – What makes you think so?” Kurogane hotly said. It wasn’t as if it posed a threat that a fellow native of a dead (in Fai’s case, dying) kingdom knew her true origins. But at the same time, Kurogane was still being cautious.

Instead of smiling or teasing, Fai just looked back at Kurogane as if she was a young child that needed to be fully reprimanded. She was serious. “Many things of course, Lady Kurogane. For one, your fiery red eyes are a dead giveaway. I remembered learning about that place and how true ember natives were born with red eyes to match the element they share a sacred connection with. That and your abilities to tame the fire are what had let me already know that you’re also a survivor as well. And yet…” She tapped her chin. “The clothes you are wearing are clearly not from the Kingdom of Ember, so I admit I am at a loss from where you have traveled and where you are heading towards.”

“Well…I…” To explain everything of where she came from and what she set out to do wasn’t exactly something Kurogane had expected to share in this conversation Fai had mentioned earlier. Far from the contrary, the general didn’t have a lot of personal and private stories that she would wish to keep away from Fai’s ears, and the only ones she could easily think of were those dreams and nightmares that kept haunting her the last few months. “You sure you really want to know? It’s a long story.”

Fai raised her eyebrows, amused yet slightly offended at Kurogane’s implication that she would not be an attuned listener. “If you remember what I said earlier I think it is only fair that _you_ answer some of my questions. A tit for tat, as those books I had read would say.”

Damn, she was persistent. Kurogane sighed. Well, at the very least no harm could come out of this, she supposed. She would just try to make it as brief as she could. “I’m a general who serves Princess Tomoyo from the Land of the Lotus Blossoms.”

And so she went off from there, explaining how she was raised by the matronly leader who had agreed to look over her at her dying mother’s request and was eventually then put on the path to be a warrior at first, then a general as soon as the princess observed how deft she was with the disciplines of fighting. That was indeed the life she had known for a bit over twenty years until she had the _awakening_ as Princess Tomoyo had called it. Kurogane did not go into specifics about what the _awakening_ was along with the dreams that caused it or what it entailed for her, but in summary she told Fai how at last it was revealed to her that she was not a child of the Land of the Lotus Blossoms but instead a survivor of the Kingdom of Ember.

“So once you found out your true origins, you decided to go on a journey to see the kingdom for yourself?” Fai asked. By then she was finished with her soup as well, yet the blonde had been listening intently to Kurogane’s story.

“Pretty much,” she said with a shrug. It wasn’t a lie in itself but all the same Kurogane saw that there was no reason for her to tell Fai about how the ember spirits had been invading her dreams and heavily affecting her ordinary life back home. Soon, she would reach her destination and see what she could do to negotiate with the spirits lingering over the destruction of the connections between the element of ember and the people who had either died or fled the crumbling kingdom.

“And just when the winter season was starting elsewhere too, wow…” Fai drummed her fingers along her chin. For a moment, her eyes were off as if they were looking far beyond the capacity of the cavern’s pocket they were in. 

“I always wondered what the snow was like outside of here…” 

This she said more to herself than towards Kurogane, and this time the general chose to observe her companion more closely. Fai’s eyes were still far away, and yet she seemed to be communicating with someone else, even though clearly there wasn’t anyone else around, not even her shape shifting pet. 

Before Kurogane could even react or say anything to how Fai seemed distant, the snow native snapped her attention back to the general. “But, I am also curious, Lady Kurogane. How did you manage to navigate through this blizzard? It’s really dangerous out there. Nobody else who was not a native here could tell what the best direction to go in is.”

Even though the previous day had taken quite a toll on her, Kurogane still surprisingly remembered what happened after she was caught in the blizzard at that abandoned shack. How she lit her torch and began to see the patterns of the snow and wind. “It was hard to make out at first, but I noticed how one direction of the wind was unusual and even. So I just followed in that direction with my torch.” The torch that she lost outside, she remembered with a horrible feeling gripping her guts.

“Was it a special torch?”

“Yes,” Kurogane said, inhaling sharply. “My mother’s actually, according to what my princess have told me. But I…lost it…when I fell yesterday.”

“It served you very well then, Lady Kurogane. But do not despair at all,” Fai said in sympathy.

The general gave her a maddening look. “What do you mean? I bloody lost something that’s precious and a gem from the kingdom I’m seeking after. Think,” she spat, “think of the consequences. I don’t think the spirits would be entirely happy.”

“Don’t worry, you will be able to get out of here, and I will help you,” Fai tried to reason again. “If you wonder why I sent out my Chii, you are about to find out.”

The snow native stood up from her spot and put two fingers to her pale lips, pursing them. Fai then whistled, and it was a soft but long one. Kurogane just sat there in observance, as she figured that the other woman was simply summoning for her companion to come back to her. The two waited there for a few more minutes, and it was a sheer wonder now that Kurogane realized it how on earth the whistle could carry out from the pocket of the cavern they were in and out to the vast land blanketed in the blizzard. Yet these two days have taught her that there were many unexpected phenomenon and things that were hard to explain, so she just brushed those thoughts aside.

Sure enough, Kurogane heard thunderous noises pounding on the ground that echoed off along the walls and before she knew it, Chii the shape-shifting winter bear ran in with several items in her mouth. Fai held out her hand and her companion walked over towards her before dropping the objects onto the ground right in front of Fai’s feet. It turned out to be the dagger that Kurogane had also dropped in her scuffle with Chii. But more so, the other object that was recovered that left her with immense relief was none other than her faithful torch that fell from her hands when her body lost muscular control. She stood there, speechless and grateful that the painful tasks of finding them were now completely removed from her hands as Fai bent down to pick up the torch.

“Thank you, Chii,” she cooed, patting her muzzle before Chii set out once again with a purr-roar and running paws shaking the ground.

Fai then turned around bearing the torch in her gloved hands. Just like when Princess Tomoyo had presented and bestowed the sacred item to Kurogane, the flammable material was still in its pristine conditions. It was as if the general had never lit it in the first place far out along the walls of that abandoned shack to use as guidance in the face of the blizzard and also as a rather beloved and comforting companion. Surely the torch must had been imbued with something very rare and precious, or even magical for it to be reusable. The general had also finally walked over to pick up the dagger that was carelessly left abandoned on the ground. Pools of saliva from Chii were still slicked over the hilt. Kurogane made a face as she quickly wiped it carefully off on her cloak then tucked it back in its proper place on her belt. Red eyes soon met blue and the snow native smiled as she finally extended her hands out with the torch towards the general.

“See?” Her eyes were beaming. “It was just as I said. You had no need to despair, my lady.” 

“I…” Kurogane claimed her torch and held it in her thick leather gloves. To her amazement, she could still feel some heat emanating from it, even though it had been knocked out of her hands and was immediately extinguished in the snow for a good chunk of time. She hoped to never lose it or put it in grave conditions again.

“Thanks.”

“You’re most certainly welcome,” Fai said with a gentle smile. “Once again, I am impressed. I can tell the torch is in the same condition as if it was never used. Please, I inquire you tell me about its properties. I have a feeling it will help you out as it helped you navigate in this kingdom.”

Gripping the heirloom in her hands tighter, Kurogane sighed. Well, she knew there was no harm in talking about it.

“One, it never burned out on me even though it was bloody windy outside.” She turned it in her hands once. “And it was very well lit so that I was able to see well even though it was already getting darker.”

“Yes…” Fai nodded after listening. She was absorbed once again in Kurogane’s explanations. “That does make it very extraordinary. But Lady Kurogane, there are _some_ things that still don’t add up. There must be something else that was unusual, am I right?”

Kurogane balked, wondering what on earth Fai was trying to piece together. Well, maybe she really liked to think things through. Come to think of it, there was more to her than her genteel mannerisms and quirks; she was intelligent and pretty insightful. She just chose to be discreet.

“I don’t think there was anything else,” Kurogane said, for it was hard for her to remember things towards the moment she collapsed.

“It takes some time,” Fai said in sympathy. “Concentrate. Let yourself delve into all you can think and remember and feel those moments before you blacked out.”

It was a hard task, and yet Kurogane actually wanted to figure out if there was any one last crucial detail. So she wracked her mind and memories.

She remembered being ambushed by Chii and taking out her dagger. She remembered being overwhelmed and having the odds stacked on her as the time went by and the evening grew nigh then having her dagger knocked out of her hands. Things got colder and foggier there as she probed into the details of last night. All Kurogane knew for certain was that she was fighting and even pleading to live, to not fall and freeze to her death, just like how she had concentrated on keeping the fire alive earlier as Fai finished cooking the soup.

Then it finally hit her and she remembered.

“The torch… I think, when I was fighting to stay alive, the fire suddenly became stronger. And it wasn’t because of the wind at all. Look, I don’t even _know_ if that means anything, but that’s really all I can recall.”

“No, far from it.” Fai graced her fingertips over the torch again. “That was a very important piece of information that I needed to know. May I?”

Kurogane simply let Fai take back her mother’s possession for a moment. The snow native turned it over and over again, pausing occasionally. She was clearly looking for something when, really, there was nothing but the ebony and the flammable material. And yet, for uncertain reasons the general let her have a look at it. She then realized that she had acquired trust for Fai, even though in reality she still didn’t know a lot about her when she thought about it.

“If my eyes aren’t deceiving me, I think I have found the last piece I needed to know. Lady Kurogane…no, but maybe that’s not proper to call you that anymore…”

“What-” Kurogane was wrong. Fai was still not making any much sense. “-are you talking about?”

Fai seemed to have ignored her outburst. “I need to show you something,” she insisted coolly. “Look over here.”

She tipped the torch completely upside down and pointed a finger at the very tip of it. Kurogane leaned closer to examine the spot Fai had pinpointed. At first she swore there was nothing to be seen and was ready to snatch the torch out of the other’s hand, but then she finally saw it and knew she couldn’t be fooled otherwise.

There was an etching, a faded one, of a flame. When she saw it, her heart leapt involuntarily. 

“Do you know what that is?” she asked, transfixed.

“Lady Kurogane…” Fai was just as much spellbound by it. “ _This_ is the insignia of the Kingdom of Ember, which is why you put everything together it makes sense.”

“How?”

“You didn’t survive the blizzard just because of mere luck. Others wouldn’t last long because they would get too cold and collapse and freeze to death quite quickly. But since your roots are inherently from the Kingdom of Ember it meant you already have the capability to withstand bitterly cold weather because you have ‘heat’ within you. Do you understand so far?”

It seemed bizarre at first, but then the general remembered that she was supposed to have a connection with her affixed element. Then she couldn’t help but wonder if that was why Princess Tomoyo had granted her permission to travel now in spite of the winter. Did her princess know all that time that she had this “heat” to help her through? Even so, she had a hunch that Fai was still withholding crucial information.

“Yeah, I could see why you ask about my history. But why bothered asking about the torch itself then?”

“Because it was _you_ who made the torch burn larger and brighter,” Fai said, enlightened. “The ember spirits heeded your call to help you live. Not just anyone could have powerful connections to the spirits.”

This was becoming too much for her to comprehend. “No,” Kurogane said in bewilderment. “There’s no way…”

“I should have been clearer,” the other interrupted. “This isn’t any insignia. It’s the royal one. Don’t you see now? Why the torch is so precious? Why the torch responded to your needs… Princess of Ember?”

 _Princess_? She was just a general who hailed from the Kingdom of Embers, nothing more. There was no way Kurogane was an heir of a kingdom that had been dead for a long time. 

“Why did you want to know about this, about me? I don’t get it.”

“You’re not going to a dead kingdom just because you want to discover your roots. The spirits had been plaguing you, isn’t it? And they won’t let you die until you return there and do what they wanted you to do because you’re the long lost heir of the Kingdom of Ember.” Fai stated all of that so icily that the general was let speechless.

“Okay.” Kurogane raised her hands in protest. “So what if I really am this heir. You’ve just stated that all along I could have just _leave_ and get the hell back on the road to the Kingdom of Ember because I can’t and won’t die either way.” She started to feel anger and wondered why she let herself stay all this time. 

“You’ve known this along and yet you just decided to keep me here far longer. _Enough_. While I’m…flattered you cared, I’m going _now_ and that’s that, so give me my torch.”

But when she presented a hand out in demand for her mother’s item back Kurogane noticed just how cold and even _angry_ Fai’s eyes were.

“I thought I had made it very clear.” She had never heard Fai so cold and bitter as now. “Even if the ember spirits are protecting you, you still don’t have a good chance of making it out alive without my escort.”

Kurogane was prepared to retort and argue she could make it fine. “I don’t see how that would help at all. Not unless-”

She cut herself off, because suddenly her head was swimming in the ruminations of all that she had gathered about Fai and the entire strange phenomenon in this kingdom. _Of course_ , she kicked herself inwardly. Why there was only one, clear direction she saw in the blizzard and chose to follow it. Why there were times the snow and wind were not as fierce. Why even Chii had finally stopped attacking her.

“You…you’re…”

Fai was content. “I see you’re finally getting all of it. Just like how you can tame fire, _I_ can tame the snow. Just like how you were able to brave the storm because you have ‘heat’, _I_ can manipulate the blizzard at my will.”

She paused. “About what you said about my manners after you told me your name. You were clever, although unintentionally.”

Fai then smiled. But Kurogane could only see sadness in it and the general felt cold, even helpless.

“Yes, Lady Kurogane. I am the Princess of Snow.”


	4. Princess of Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurogane finally understands why Fai, out of all people, is able to find warmth and happiness in the snow.

Fai had proclaimed her true identity with such grave dignity that Kurogane knew with certainty that she was being completely honest. There was nothing hiding at that moment in her frosty blue eyes. Yet while this thorny revelation shed light on so many mysteries that Kurogane couldn’t quite put her finger on up until this point, she still couldn’t help but feel that there were much more things amiss.

“Princess of Snow?” she numbly repeated, eyes flickering with the new knowledge that not only was she the remaining heir of the Kingdom of Ember, but that she also was in the presence of another one just like her.

Fai nodded, solemnly. “Yes, Lady Kurogane – someone just like you. Now do you see why it is prudent that I guide you out of the kingdom?”

The princess of course meant that with her abilities to tame and manipulate the snow at her will that she would be able to guarantee that no harm could come to the general when she leaved this rather forsaken place. Kurogane likewise nodded in understanding, piecing together the connection that wherever Fai was, the surrounding area would not be as devastating and debilitating compared to the rest of the dying kingdom. Only she could speak with her kind’s element since she was a royal by blood and had the highest authority when it came to the connection between her and snow. However, if Fai’s royal power also meant it came with being able to control even the strongest of blizzard winds, then that could only mean…

“So it was _you_ who had guided me here.”

There was a pause. Then finally, “Yes.”

Suddenly, the general remembered all of the burning questions lingering on the tip of her tongue that she desired to ask, and one of course was about the snow princess’ solitude. And if Fai had purposefully ensured that Kurogane would find a way to where she was hiding all along in this dying kingdom, then it further confirmed what she had been suspicious about all along.

“You’re lonely.”

“That’s a very heavy accusation. I still have Chii as a companion.”

“Then why did you rope me here?”

“I thought it was rather obvious. I was trying to help you survive.”

“So you tried it for everyone else who came here.” The more she tried to rationalize Fai’s behavior, the more she started to see everything she had experienced and what Fai had told her falling together into coherent pieces. As much as things finally making sense made her assured, Kurogane still didn’t like what conclusions were being reached. “But because they all died before making it to where you’re taking shelter, you made sure to step out and pay their dying spirits respect, isn’t it?” 

“I’m surprised, Lady Kurogane,” Fai interrupted at last, and the general noted just how even _paler_ the princess had turned, “that you accused me of stalling time for you when you, too, are stalling time for yourself by asking me all of these questions. I believe that now is a good time for us to venture out of here, don’t you agree?”

That was it. It was something to do about death and feeling guilt or just sadness for even more losses beyond the natives of this kingdom that had exposed perhaps the darkest secrets Fai was holding in. The bait had been cast, sunk, and successfully latched on to the target. Kurogane was drawn in, and she wanted to reel in for some more information, out of a mysterious and powerful princess of all people. But for once, Kurogane held her tongue, and Fai’s offer _was_ tempting. 

“Better now than never,” she said, and sure enough her reconciliatory efforts to ease the tension caused Fai to relax. It was impressive that the blonde’s mood could have such profound effects over the atmosphere dripping in the cavern. Still, Kurogane wouldn’t give in so easily.

“So after I leave, you’ll be alone,” she said once more, stating quite the obvious. Kurogane knew she was being intrusive, unraveling layers and layers of her savior far more than Fai was comfortable with, and yet she just couldn’t stop it. If Fai was the embodiment of snow, hiding underneath layers of ice, then Kurogane was just as true to her element of ember, seeking to fuse a fuel and burn her way through the coldness in the princess. 

Sure enough, she observed how much of a barrier Fai was putting up once again.

“Are you suggesting that I’ll be very lonely again?” The corners of her mouth curled up in dark amusement, and it irritated the general. “I’m used to it, Lady Kurogane, very used to it. But don’t be sad about it. I’m quite fond of the snow here, even though it has been really severe as of late.”

“You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what, may I ask?”

“Smiling.”

Fai was still holding it up, coolly however. “What’s wrong with smiling?”

“It’s not a matter of if smiling is right or wrong,” Kurogane said. “It’s that you’re smiling when you don’t want to. Look, I get that it’s like a princess protocol or something to smile and be pleasant in the face of company no matter what because I’ve seen Princess Tomoyo like that a lot, but that’s bullshit.”

“We should get going.”

There she was at it again, interrupting so abruptly that it was brutally obvious she was hurting, but desperately denying the honest accusations the general had made. Kurogane scowled.

“We’re not finished here-”

“I _said_ , we should go.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Kurogane snapped. How strange it was Fai, not her, who was so damn persistent that they get going. Yet, they still would be in each other’s company, so at the very least perhaps the general could try to keep the conversation going and see if there were any last words Fai would have for her before they parted. 

“Good,” Fai simply said, and she quickly gathered their empty containers and made her way back to the cauldron. The fire had died out by then and she silently packed up her own belongings, turning over the remaining charred woods. Kurogane, meanwhile, had gone to retrieve her pack as well, adjusting and thrusting it over her shoulder. Her dagger was now safely back in her possession, tucked securely in her belt. The torch of her mother was still in her hand, and she vowed to never displace it again. It had saved her life, and she owed it to the ember spirits who had watched over her and protected her from harm.

“Light up your torch once again, Lady Kurogane,” Fai commanded, having just finished packing up as well. She made her way towards the cavern’s entrance. “I can handle the climate better than you, so it’s best that you provide yourself with more warmth. Plus it will help guide us out of here anyways.” 

“Right,” the general said, and with that she fiddled for any leftover matches in her sack. 

There were barely any left, but at the very least she did not have to fight against the bitter wind or feel the chill get to her bare hands as she strike one along the handle and lit the powerful torch. Just like last time, it came to life magnificently as soon as the tip of the lit matchstick touched it, and Kurogane welcomed the familiar and comforting warmth thawing at her cold hands. She then joined Fai at the mouth, holding the torch between them. The princess was now wearing her thick cloak, its elaborate patterns surrounding her thin frame. Her hood covered most of her blonde tresses and forehead, extending down to nearly just the top of her eyelids. When the torch fire illuminated Fai’s face, Kurogane could further see how tired and worn out her companion was. And yet, she looked better and more alive somehow under the glow than when she wasn’t. Perhaps the snow princess needed more warmth, she thought.

“Ready?”

Kurogane nodded, and together they left the confines of the cavern. The warrior was astonished to see the howling blizzard once again, snow and wind battering in violent patterns. She wasn’t sure if it was just her, but it seemed worse than yesterday when she got caught in the snowstorm. The pathways were hard to see and it was hard to tell exactly what time of the day it was, but surely it couldn’t be _that_ late despite Fai’s insistence that they head out immediately. 

Next to her the princess whistled, unmistakably summoning for her unique pet once again. How she could hear Fai in spite of the loud, violent wind she did not know, but soon enough Kurogane felt the ground trembling and Chii arrived. Like a horse, she pawed on the snow and Fai went up to her, quickly patting her on the muzzle. She then procured a rope from her sack and tied it around Chii’s neck, assembling a makeshift leash of sorts. The snow native pressed her forehead against Chii and closed her eyes, letting out a sigh. With her mouth buried in the thick fur, Fai muttered something, and Kurogane faintly heard something along the lines of, “It’s time,” cryptic as it might be. Her companion growled softly in response, and the general was not sure if Chii was reprimanding or assuring the princess. Smiling, Fai planted a quick kiss on the nose and retreated, tugging on the rope to lead her and taking a few steps forward.

After ten steps or so she stopped and lifted a finger in the air, tracing it in a circular motion. Words tumbled out of her mouth, and at first it sounded like a melody pouring gently from graceful instruments and those of legendary singers back home in the Land of the Lotus Blossoms. The sounds of her words were distinctly foreign, perfectly complementing the surrounding land, culture, and the very presence of Fai and all that she represented. This must be the ancient language of the Kingdom of Snow, Kurogane realized, and whether the snow princess was singing or chanting or casting a spell, the words in her mother tongue were mesmerizing nonetheless. 

Right in front of her eyes, the tamed halo encircling them shifted. Snow continued to fall violently, but the wind channel right in front of Fai changed so that it was mild. Even in the dim setting, Kurogane could see a clear path illuminated for them with the aid of her torch burning away. So this ritual must be performed with care and deliberation in order for her to establish a particular path, a bridge between her and the other end – something only the royalty could do much like how Kurogane had the true power to temper with fire in emergency circumstances. The airy words died down, and Fai lowered her finger. From a distance, all Kurogane could see was her back covered by her elaborate cloak. And yet, there was a sense of solemnness composed in her figure as she remained there in silence before she turned her head around to address the general.

“This should take you back to where you came from before you wandered into our kingdom, Lady Kurogane,” she said, smiling.

The general was not surprised how Fai knew the exact road that would lead her back to where she was before she got stranded in the outskirts of the kingdom. She of course would know the entire region, and if there was anything Kurogane had gathered from this powerful native, it was that Fai held more information and power she chose to leave as her own secrets. 

“Just how much do you have to give in to keep up this path?”

“It’s not bad,” Fai said with a shrug. “One should never underestimate the power that I, the princess, have accumulated and maintained over the years. But do not worry. I surely have enough to ensure that you’ll get out of here in due time.

Come.” Fai curled her fingers inward, motioning Kurogane to join her. “You have a place calling for you, and you mustn’t delay answering it.” 

To make her words very clear, Fai tugged on the leash and began walking with Chii following behind her, but the impetus wasn’t necessary in order to cause Kurogane to go along with the motion. Pulling her cloak tighter around her, she advanced as fast as she could to catch up with the blonde. It was going to be another long trek, and it was prudent that they conserved their energy as best as they could. Conversations would have to be put aside for the moment, or at least that was the impression Kurogane got from Fai who remained quiet in spite of her tendency to be the one that initiate these exchanges back in the cavern. All she could hear was the blizzard howling around them, the flame in her torch beating steadily as ever, and oddly, the last words Fai had said to her with that sad smile of hers. 

_You have a place calling for you, and you mustn’t delay answering it._

Yes, it was true, and despite the delay Kurogane still maintained her resolve to set foot in the ruins of the Kingdom of Ember and communicate with the lingering ember spirits. There were no certainties of how long or even how difficult her mission would take, but now that Kurogane knew that she had protection because she carried the blood of royalty, she was further confident that she would see through her promises. After all was said and done in answering the calls of the spirits, Kurogane would then retreat and set back to the Land of the Lotus Blossoms and Princess Tomoyo to resume her lifestyle as the monarch’s general. That was that.

But would it?

While Kurogane had a place that sought for her presence and another that she would always call home, Fai was the opposite. Well, that wasn’t entirely true since the dying Kingdom of Snow was what she called her home, the place the princess was familiar with and the element with which she mastered. Home was home, and one didn’t simply wander off without weighing the benefits and sacrifices carefully in these moments. Yet at the same time, Kurogane had people to return to, to interact. She had a monarch and all that she represented to serve, newly recruited soldiers to train, and even that stubborn senior officer to spar with. As for Fai, she didn’t have anybody else to go back to here as the sole survivor of this land. Chii seemed to be a worthy and invaluable companion in these times of a world gone chaotic and barren, but what good could the shape-shifting creature do when it could never fully replace a human? 

The more the general pondered on this of all things, the more unsettled she realized how strange and ironic that once she was out of this place and back on her mission that Fai would be left alone again for perhaps the rest of her life. They had only talked to each other, shared food, warmth, and shelter in less than a day; and even though Fai was still ladled with mystery, Kurogane pitied the princess’ plight. She wondered what would happen to Fai long after they parted ways.

“It wasn’t always like this, you see.”

It was so strange to hear her speak again after a long refuge of silence. At the very least, her voice brought liveliness to the overall area that spelled death. Kurogane found that she wished to keep it going. 

“What wasn’t?” 

“The Kingdom of Snow, of course,” Fai said in response. She was speaking softer than usual. “I know the scenery is depressing for non-natives like you, Lady Kurogane, but in honesty the snow is not all bad as it seems.”

“You mean until now,” Kurogane said. It was more of a candid statement than even a question.

Fai frowned. “No, you misunderstood. That is not what I meant to say at all.” She sighed and steered Chii and herself closer to Kurogane so that they could hear each other better. In return the general elevated her torch at a better height so that it would keep Fai warm as well. Even though the princess had reiterated that she was born to handle the cold climate well, Kurogane was persistent that she needed it as well. 

“Snow is common in the land you hail from, is that not correct?”

“Yes,” Kurogane acknowledged. “It is winter time in the Land of the Lotus Blossoms as well.” 

“And what is it like?”

“Why do you ask?” she said, feeling rather suspicious.

Fai smiled, and instead said in wit, “What is wrong with asking? Are you suspicious in general because you must always be on your guard owing to your profession?” 

Kurogane was prepared to retort, but she held her tongue and instead scowled. The princess did nothing more than maintain her cool smile, but the brief flash in her eyes indicated that she was somewhat _laughing_ at how easily she could rile up the general. But because she looked lively for once, Kurogane decided that Fai couldn’t possibly have a secret agenda behind every word, every question she had been doling out. So with that the warrior began reflecting on what was going on back in the Land of the Lotus Blossoms. 

She thought about home, of the neutral province, covered in snow. Wintertime was moderate for the most part and children would play in the streets. Woods were chopped and piled in fireplaces that provided warmth and protection from the chilly air and element. The armory had to be sealed and fortified tightly as to not let the steel of blades rust from frost, and the crops had to be vigilantly protected from freezing. Sometimes blizzards attacked the province, resulting in winter crop failures and the unfortunate deaths. Yet at the very least, all of the people knew that the snow was temporary, that come vernal equinox the chill would dissipate. Spring would greet them and life would reset, ushering in new prospects of hope and happiness. These were the things she told to Fai, who listened intently to her words and stories as always. 

For her, snow wasn’t something she found only depressing, nor was it something she relished. Kurogane was able to tolerate the cold better than most people in the province, and now that she knew about her innate heat within her it made all the more sense. Still, growing up, Kurogane detested the snow because it restricted her activities, a restless child she was. As an adult, she found the snow as something burdensome in her guard duties, along with the feeling of despair and restlessness that wintertime only brought. And yet, she always found solace that there was a warm fire waiting for her back in her quarter, a sense of life and normalcy in the people she worked with and served. It was these things that helped her cope with the chilly temperature when the season came every year and how she was able to tolerate such gloomy weather. Kurogane had these luxuries, but once again, what about Fai? How on earth the princess was able to find such warmth and happiness in this malevolent environment she didn’t know, but perhaps Fai would soon shed some light on this if their conversation kept going in this direction.

“So yeah, things like those keep me going. Knowing people and things are still alive, hanging in there – that’s how many of us cope with the harsh season,” Kurogane concluded.

“I see,” Fai said, nodding her head resolutely. “I see…” She stopped there, letting the faint hint of her cool and airy voice left to linger in the stormy wind. Kurogane wondered why the conversation had ended so abruptly, but she was sure that Fai wished to stop speaking for the moment. It turned out she was led off again.

“You and your people look towards each other and the liveliness of life itself for the abundance of warmth and happiness in weather like this,” Fai summarized, sweeping her hand gracefully over their snowy surroundings. “But as for our people, our element in itself is enough. You should know this already, Lady Kurogane, about the ancient connections between nature and the people. Just as how the element of snow depends on us, we depend on it just as much.”

There was something different in her voice, and for Kurogane she could hear warmth, cheerfulness, and even nostalgia coming from Fai. She let the snow native speak to her heart’s content as she continued trekking alongside.

“Sure, it snows all the time in these regions for as long as anyone could remember, but our people, crops, livestock, and even culture have heartily adapted to it. When the snow falls, we welcome and embrace its presence. When it pauses, we treasure the resources it provides for us. The water has to be stocked and maintained for nourishment and gardening. Mindfulness is adhered by all of our people in reverence for the great element. Snow is not something that necessarily only means death and the end. It is more than that. It provides as much as it takes; breathes life as much as it freezes.”

Chii made a sound and Fai scratched underneath her chin, cooing. She had still not finished talking on her end of these matters.

“And that is why our people have found comfort in snow itself, for no matter how breathtaking or horrible it can get, the snow is _always_ there. Nothing – not even warfare or the emigration of our people – can stop what’s left of this sacred connection. So you see, Lady Kurogane, this is why I can never truly be alone, not even long after you are gone. That is all I have to say, so thank you, for listening.” 

Fai glanced at Kurogane with her presentable smile once again. Someone of her stature was expected to maintain that expression in the face of company for pleasantry and in order to convince that all is well. If anybody else were in Kurogane’s position, she would surely fall for it and nod her head, understanding what the princess was hoping to impart with her stories. Yet Kurogane was an exception. She had noticed the lack of twinkling in Fai’s frozen blue eyes that were present earlier when she was silently laughing, and that – that was a dead giveaway.

“So why are you telling me all of this?” she said, as casually as she could.

As always, Fai kept her composure contrary to whatever she was truly feeling. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to have a conversation, is there?”

No, Kurogane silently admitted, but there was still something more than she could explain.

“Besides, this way I know that you are still functioning and not freezing when you are right next to me.” 

“I… _what?_ ” the general yelled. She was livid at Fai’s implication, but beyond that something was extremely off here, and Kurogane didn’t like it one bit. “Hold on a minute, you are making no sense. One, you said as long as I’m with you, and with me being a royal member of the Kingdom of Ember that there’s no hell in way I would freeze or gods forbid die-”

“I just wanted to be cautious-”

“ _I’m not finished_ ,” Kurogane snarled, and for once Fai shut her mouth. “And two, are you implying that something may happen where you aren’t able to keep up the storm in check? Because if that’s so, then…” 

“Are you,” Fai interrupted again, and this time the iciness in her voice had returned, “insinuating that I am purposefully going to let you freeze to death under my reins?”

The princess was _furious_ , causing Kurogane to trip on her tongue again. No matter how much Fai could easily get on her nerves just as much as she commanded her audience, Kurogane never meant to upset her that severely. “No, that’s not what I frankly meant – well, _you_ said it yourself.” 

To her amazement, Fai seemed to struggle to argue back vehemently as well. From that dainty and false smile she had plastered on her face earlier, she had quickly swung to one of insulting fury. She had even stopped in her tracks so suddenly that Chii was unprepared and bumped into her owner, causing her to growl impatiently.

“There is no way,” Fai resumed, so full of heat yet also of confidence that Kurogane had never seen before in her until this very moment. “I will not let you die, and I _swear_ it.”

The general was relieved, even flattered that her companion was vigilant in her welfare much as how she herself was when it came to serving Princess Tomoyo back home. The shock would normally impede her from reacting appropriately, but now was not the time. Instead, Kurogane immediately felt her torch fire leaping involuntary again, as if it was struggling. She wanted to say something back, anything, but felt cold air momentarily constricting her airwaves. Alarmed, Kurogane darted her eyes. To her horror, the area around them had turned for the worse, unbeknownst to them. Was this another result of Fai’s tempestuous feelings getting the better of the atmosphere? If so, she needed to do something to calm the princess the hell down.

“Princess,” she said, not even registering she had just addressed Fai with such formality for once. “We had squabbled enough, so shouldn’t we get going?”

“Oh…” Good, the blonde was calming down now. “You’re right, Lady Kurogane. If you please, I’ll work to clear the path again…”

Turning around, Fai lifted a finger and traced it in a circular motion like she had outside of the cavern. The wind was rippling so violently that Kurogane couldn’t even hear Fai muttering the spell in that beautiful ancient language. To her relief, the path itself was clearing again and all seemed well when Fai finished her incantation. 

Kurogane stepped forward with her torch at the ready, prepared to continue henceforth when, all of a sudden, another strong wind blew in their direction. It was so severe and unexpected that the general nearly lost her balance, but she resisted the wind and braced herself. In the corner of her eyes – and it was now getting harder to see – she saw Fai clutching her stomach in such a painful manner. Her body shook, and if Kurogane wasn’t mistaken, it appeared she had suddenly gotten very ill. It was hard to hear, but to her horror she knew Fai was making retching noises. Kurogane couldn’t look away fast enough in order not to see the princess hurl, but what surely caught her eyes was something _red_ landing in the snow.

Blood.

“Princess!” she screamed, fighting the gusts to get to Fai who was doubling over her stomach. Kurogane held onto one of Fai’s arm for support and tried her best not to wrench her in as to cause further damage to the princess’ frail body. When the blonde finally turned her face to address Kurogane, the general was stunned. She looked so ghostly pale, and her mouth was even trembling. What happened to cause this to her all of a sudden?

“No, this wasn’t supposed to happen,” Fai said so quietly that Kurogane had to lean in to hear her.

So many things were being heavily implied here, and each of those possibilities ran through Kurogane’s mind furiously. Inwardly, she cursed, at the malevolent wind and the storm kicking in and for the bad timing. There was no time to waste to run through the gamut of questions to Fai. It was clear that the snow princess was getting extremely weak, and now it was urgent that Kurogane tried to do something to help her. But how? There was nothing she could do to alleviate the blizzard beyond tampering with the torch’s flame. But even that wouldn’t be of great assistance in this condition, unless there were other shelters miraculously waiting for them. Maybe, she thought, there were hidden places around here and Fai was too weak right now to even recognize one.

Still holding onto Fai, Kurogane flicked the torch in all directions in hopes of assessing the perimeters as best as she could despite the visibility barriers. Surely, if she went on this path the previous day she could remember some points of interest. Even though her body was overwhelmed from the toll of the cold and the collapse from last night, her memories were surprisingly being jogged. Yes, something about this place looked highly familiar. Those two rocks that were piled on top of each other, that lone big tree branch rolling around in the snow. Wait a moment…

“Hey, I recognize this area,” she said. No matter how rapid Fai was breathing, she tried not to let the situation get the best to her. There was hope now. “There’s a shack nearby. We can take shelter there.”

“No,” Fai muttered, shuddering. “You don’t understand. You have to go. Now!”

“What?” Kurogane yelled in alarm. There was no way she would give in so easily yet. She dragged Fai, whose knees were now buckling so violently, closer to her. “Come on, I’ll help you there.”

To her utter, utter surprise – and fear – Fai had let go of her and sank down in the ground on her knees, gloved hands touching the snow. Cursing, Kurogane bent down as well and tried to drag Fai up back on her feet, pushing her torch closer to protect them. But the princess wouldn’t budge, and the general didn’t know whether Fai was fighting to just stay there and freeze or whether she actually couldn’t move her body at all. 

The blonde remained there dazed, blue eyes enlarged and mouth hanging open. Her hood had slipped off and snowflakes accumulated on her hair fast, eerily leaving an impression that she was so well blended in the white, blurry environment that Kurogane was frightened that she could be lost so easily if she didn’t kept careful guard. Fai pressed her hands against her cheeks, and something was bothering her as if she realized in horror that something truly terrible had occurred.

“Hey…” Kurogane shook the blonde, desperately trying to snap her out of it. “ _Hey!_ ”

“I’m sorry,” she finally said, and before Kurogane could say anything back, Fai choked on a sob. “I am so, _so_ sorry. I didn’t mean to – please forgive me.”

It made perfect sense she was asking Kurogane to forgive her for something, even though she had no earthly idea what Fai had done to beg for her atonement. Yet for some reason, the general had the impression that Fai was not merely speaking to her, but also to the air.

“Look.” Kurogane grimaced at just how it was becoming painful to talk, let alone breathe in the chill. “This is no time to get mad. Let’s just get the hell out of here.”

“I can’t.” Fai shook her head. “Please, I can’t let anyone die anymore.”

“I’m not going to die,” Kurogane insisted. At what lengths would it take to convince and reassure the princess? All she knew was that the situation was becoming grave and she did not want to be caught on the verge of freezing to death again. “But if we don’t move, I will.”

“You don’t get it. I can’t move.” 

Kurogane wanted to scream, but she couldn’t. Fai was not being cooperative nor was she making sense. Yet time was getting desperate, and no matter how much the blonde insisted otherwise, the general would not leave her out here alone like that. Instead, she could only say, “Why not?” 

“Stop being stubborn,” Fai said, deadliness returning in her eyes. Despite her body shaking, she lifted a finger and pointed it within distance from Kurogane’s chest. Muttering more words in that native language of hers, a strong gale ushered forth from her command, striking the general directly. 

Unguarded, the force was strong enough to send Kurogane further away from her. She landed on her back in the snow, and the wind nearly knocked her off her breath. Eyes immediately flicked to check to her torch, which was still miraculously alive. Cursing from the pain and seething in anger and confusion, Kurogane got up. She knew Fai wanted her to keep on going, but it didn’t _feel_ right to leave Fai like that in her critical state. In sheer rebellion, she walked back to where the princess was kneeling crumpled in the snow. This time Fai was breathing heavily, clutching her abdomens. She started coughing again violently and that frightened Kurogane. Seized by the horrified realization that the princess’ condition was just getting worse, the general lunged to grab Fai and use all her might to haul her up. But to her surprise, the snow native reacted quickly and had seized the general’s free wrist instead. Kurogane froze in her tracks and merely observed as blue eyes widened in horror and mouth trembled open to speak.

“It’s all my fault,” she said, and Kurogane was barely able to understand since Fai was speaking so fast that her words were being mangled. Her eyes were getting glossy as if she was being possessed.

“What…”

“I know it and I accept the entire blame. For letting them come in here and ruin our people, our lives. For causing the disruption in the connection between us all and the snow. It was awful and I couldn’t do anything as the princess and I became useless and I didn’t use my power in time to save them. Those children in the orphanage? Dead. The guards protecting my family? Slaughtered. Everyone else? Frozen to death or gone. But as for me? I was spared, and I know why and I know what I had to do. And what else happened? I lured in outsiders, foreigners and wanderers alike, and what happened to them? They died, in my foolishness, and it’s _all my fault._ ”

“Princess…”

“So why, _why_ will you not go? You’ve only known me for less than a day and all I’ve done is kept you here until time was on the brink of running out. And look at what I have done, and because of that I put your life at risk too. Shouldn’t you be mad at me, Lady Kurogane, yes, shouldn’t you be mad at me? I would, I _know_ I would.

“Stop it. You’re just killing yourself more-”

“Yes, that’s it. Ever since I took you in my care, the time I had left was running out quicker. And trying to keep the kingdom alive was already enough, but holding it up for more than just me made it worse. Don’t you see, Lady Kurogane? I’ve done nothing but made it worse. You’ve got your spirits waiting for you and another princess and home to go back to, so go, _JUST GO!_ ” 

“ _No!_ ”

Fai stopped, but to Kurogane’s grim understanding, she wasn’t able to go on any further because of her worsening condition. Her whole body was trembling at this point with snow perched on her frosted lips. She wasn’t just freezing, she was _dying_ , and if Kurogane didn’t do anything they both would freeze to death together. Ignoring the gnawing pit growing in her stomach, she pressed her torch as close as safety permitted to the princess’ chest, hoping and even praying that the heat would halt Fai’s body temperature from dropping even further. She concentrated on the flame, telling it to send more heat radiating at the princess, who was now breathing short, hallowed gasps and struggling to keep her eyes open. Kurogane then remembered what Fai had said in part jest but part seriousness earlier.

“Keep talking,” she urged, _to me, so I know you won’t, you won’t…_

Fai couldn’t move her eyes so much at this rate anymore, but Kurogane saw something flickering in them. The princess was going to try. She wasn’t exactly going to give up, and that at least gave something for Kurogane to hold onto in her blind hope. Fai opened her mouth, wanting to, willingly wishing to speak. But she was struggling again, and if the circumstances couldn’t be crueler to her, to them, it was now. Heaving in pain, Fai’s body caved in and she fell. Yelling, Kurogane caught her in her free arm. But the princess was still fighting, and she lifted her face painstakingly so that she could speak at last. 

“I think I know now,” Fai struggled to say, lips turning so blue now. “What you meant earlier.” 

There were many things Kurogane had said earlier, and she wondered which one on earth had stood out the most to Fai that she wished to express in spite of her mental confusion. She should say something, asking her what did she mean to encourage her to keep talking, but Kurogane found that she couldn’t. Intuition was telling her that this was it, that Fai was going to die right in front of her but she refused to even let that thought get in her head, so instead she remained silent, hoping, praying that the princess would keep on going.

“You wanted … to know why I’m happy … in the snow?”

She was trying so hard to sound happy, to sound so in peace. But instead, sadness overwhelmed her voice. This was not making it any easier for Kurogane, who realized she was holding her breath in preparation for whatever was to come and be said. 

“Why?”

“Because,” she croaked, tears beading around her eyelashes at last, and yet she smiled. Oh why, why did it hurt? 

“I … I got to meet you…Princess Kurogane.”

With her final words said at last, the princess let out one last long breath. Her body could no longer fight, and in the blink of an eye pale eyelids fluttered close and blue lips shivered violently. Her head sunk heavily against Kurogane's arm, and if it weren't for the sensation of her fragile body quivering against her, the general would presume Fai dead. 

Numbed, Kurogane suddenly remembered to breathe for she didn't know what to make out of all of this, for time and the world around them had seemed to stop. Not only had Fai confessed all of her secrets, but she had wholeheartedly admitted that she was happy to have met the general - and had even addressed her with her true, noble title. The snow native had feared it, and now it truly seemed that it was too late. There was no mistake. Kurogane had become someone important to Fai, and now as she remained there frozen in her spot, hand unconsciously weaving through Fai's hair, she now understood. Still, the general was at a complete loss, with her fingers now glossing over the princess' neck absentmindedly. 

Losses were something Kurogane was all too familiar with. As a general she had fought in countless wars, waging attacks against invaders from harming the Land of the Lotus Blossoms. Lives were sacrificed, but in the end peace resumed. She couldn't afford to grieve properly for each and every men and women who had died in the battlefield, not until the end was in clear sight, the damages tended to, and the dead buried with honor and dignity. But this - Fai, Fai was different. Just as how Kurogane was the first human Fai had encountered in a long time, so too was the princess for her. Death was quickly approaching for her, and when she died, the kingdom would too, joining the list of the others that had fallen over the years.

Accepting the inevitability of death was not the challenge. Yet even so, Kurogane thought as she closed her eyes in exhaustion and still refusing to let go, this was different. She was still tracing over the neckline - in sorrow, in desperation, who knew - but when she felt something faint pulsing, her heart nearly stopped. Was she, too, getting mad, delirious in blind hope? Eyes flying open, Kurogane inspected the area again. There, _there_ it was again. There was no mistake, Fai was still fighting to stay alive, and like flames coming to life once more, Kurogane felt her heart leaping involuntary. 

There were many times Kurogane had seen despair and helplessness in Fai, and nothing pronounced it clearer than when Fai had just broken down in resolve, spilling her troubles and anguish in plain sight. All those smiles, all those eerie politeness and the cold and calm manners that poured from her voice and gestures were walls she had put up to hide her pain, guilt, and loneliness. But there were those few moments when her eyes had twinkled, when she was laughing behind them and her smile. And then there was that moment when she looked radiant than usual, if only for a moment, in the firelight. No matter how fatalistic she had presented herself, from the moment Kurogane first met her in the cavern entrance, there was still something inside of her that wanted to fight back, to press on in spite of the tragedies and burdens she as the princess had to endure. Fai had only wanted to be happy, to have hope for something better - and now Kurogane knew that she wanted the same for her, _knew_ that she inexplicably needed the princess as much as Fai needed her. With determination coming back to life in her, Kurogane made another promise.

_I won't let you die._

Time moved once more. The snowstorm kicked in harder. Kurogane instinctively crouched over Fai to protect her, letting all of the snow and the strong wind whip on her body. It was fierce and it took sheer willpower for her not to scream from the pain. The shack, she needed to get her and Fai to the snack, _now_. Ignoring the fresh wave of pain pounding in her bones and muscles, Kurogane hoisted her arms underneath Fai's and began heaving the princess up. The effort was laborious. Fai was never heavy to begin with, on the contrary, but in her freezing state Kurogane had to expend more energy to finally get the princess off of her knees. Breathing heavily, the general struggled to support Fai with one arm wrapped around her while keeping the torch close to her. 

She still didn't know how far the shack was from her, but there was no time to waste. In her peripheral vision, she saw Chii running towards them. For the first time, Kurogane wordlessly welcomed her presence. Screeching to a halt, Fai’s companion bent down on her four legs and without hesitation, Kurogane laid the princess over Chii’s back. Letting go, the general reached for the rope, prepared to traverse through the storm while guiding the large pet in search for the shack. However, Chii kept thrusting her muzzle, batting away Kurogane’s hand. She scowled and eyed Chii with as much contempt as she could.

_Do not give me that look, child._

Alarmed, Kurogane froze and could only stare back, open mouthed. Did Chii just talk to her?

“I need you to help me get her to a shelter,” she hissed back. Kurogane tugged on the rein, but to her aggravation Chii would not budge.

 _Foolish, obstinate child,_ Chii growled. _Get on my back. You’ll never get there faster on foot._

Kurogane didn’t appreciate the condescension coming from the creature of all things. But time was of essence, and she needed to get Fai indoors as soon as possible. Nodding, the general offered her mother’s torch to Chii, which she accepted immediately in her mouth. Kurogane hurried to where Fai was and climbed on top of Chii, quickly finding her gripping position. Chii was nothing like a horse and there wasn’t even anything like a saddle, but to her amazement the general felt sturdy support. She repositioned Fai so that she was sitting up as well, and even slipped her hood back on for protective measures. Wrapping both arms around Fai’s waist so that she could hold onto the rope as well, Kurogane told her that she was ready, and Chii stood up on her four legs.

 _Hold on tight_ , she said, and with a jolt the beast bolted across the snowy landscape. Chii was clearly unfettered by the snowstorm, but that didn’t stop the maelstrom of snow from coming straight at Fai and Kurogane. It was getting so bad that Kurogane couldn’t see anything in front of her except for the faint blue outlines of Fai’s elaborate cloak. She was starting to shiver as well, yet it wasn’t as awful as Fai who was trembling profusely in her arms. The princess was still on her way to freezing to death, and the physical evidence and knowledge only compelled the general furthermore to do all she could in her power to save her life. As Chii kept on striding, Kurogane continued to hold onto Fai as much as she could. In theory, she knew that the shack couldn’t be that far away now that Chii was taking them there as fast as she could, but at the same time the destination seemed very far in sight. But she could not afford to think like that. A promise was a promise. _Fai will not die._

The cold was now even getting the better of Kurogane. To her dismay, the storm became stronger than she thought was possible. The sound of the wind was so harsh that her ears were hurting from the painful noises. Even by the way she could feel that she was losing grip on Chii she thought that she was starting to lose control of her limbs just like the previous day. Cursing, Kurogane vigilantly kept a tighter grip around Fai. They had to be there soon, they _had_ to be.

Soon enough, Kurogane saw the faint silhouette of the same shack she had stumbled upon yesterday looming in the corner of her stunted vision. She nearly cried in relief as Chii bounded towards the entrance, but her celebratory efforts were cut off when she felt a sharp convulsion coming from Fai’s body. Panicked, Chii buckled as well, and in the chaos of loss of balance the companion tipped over. Kurogane locked-gripped her arms around Fai as they both fell off of Chii and landed in the snow hard, with the general taking the landing harder than the princess. The impact was so sharp, and the snow so cold that Kurogane bit her lip hard enough for it to bleed. Scrambling to get her and Fai off their feet, she noticed that Chii was strapped to the ground, shivering convulsively. The creature’s eyes darted maddeningly, and with her loss of control in her mouth the torch was threatened to be mercilessly dropped in the snow. Kurogane propped Fai’s head on her own sack before she hurried over to Chii and grabbed her faithful possession. 

“Thank you,” she said breathlessly, alarmed that even Fai’s companion was suffering the same fate. “How could I ever-”  
 _Do not worry about me,_ Chii commanded. _There’s a key in the sack. Hurry, child._

She didn’t have to say anything else. Kurogane snatched the princess’ sack from the ground and opened it, fumbling through countless empty bottles and vials. So many things were running in her mind. How on earth did Fai have access to the key? Did it mean she used to _live_ here – was that why the place was empty in the first place? And if Chii was on the verge of dying, then it also meant…

Fighting the gnawing pit in her stomach once more, Kurogane continued searching and searching, all concentration intent on sparing Fai from her untimely death. Something like a key shouldn’t be so hard to find; yet if so why was that the case? In exasperation, the general resorted to wrenching off her glove to make her search easier, and surely soon enough her fingers brushed on something thin and made of brass. Clasping it, she withdrew it and strode to the door where she placated the torch in the crumbling bracket and tried to aim the key into the door’s slot. Her hand, however, was shaking so erratically from the cold and it added to her heightened frustration. At last she fitted it in and wriggled with it, wrenching the door open wide with abated success. Kurogane hauled Fai from the ground along with hers and dragged the freezing princess inside, heading for the bed where she laid the unconscious princess underneath the thick pile of the quilted blanket.

She then went back outside and secured both sacks along with the torch. Once back in Kurogane hurried to the fireplace where an unused stack of logs remained. Quickly assembling it, she transferred the fire from her torch to the logs, setting alight the fireplace with the help of her manipulation in hopes of warming up the shack as fast as she could to help keep Fai warm. All of a sudden, her knees caved in and she collapsed onto the floor. She didn’t realize just how much her body was exhausted from all the demands until now, but no, she had to look over Fai. Trembling, Kurogane pushed herself up to assess the other woman’s condition – and was stunned at what she saw.

Despite the blanket, despite the warmth of the fire washing over the shack, the princess was still shivering so horrifically. Her lips weren’t the only thing turning blue for now the deadly color was seeping onto her face. 

_No! I won’t, I won’t._

She stormed across the room, removing her cloak, scarf and gloves along the way.

_I won’t let you die._

Her dagger was tossed carelessly to the floor as well, and when Kurogane reached the bed again she threw back the quilt in order to lie down next to Fai.

_I won’t let you die, I won’t let you die._

Kurogane had understood what she needed to do. If the shelter wasn’t enough, if the fire she brought to life wasn’t even helping, then she, the true Princess of Ember, had to summon and transfer her own body heat to the Princess of Snow. There was no guarantee that it would have a powerful effect, but Kurogane had no other choice, and she would not surrender. Fai had used her power, _risked_ her life to save Kurogane when she was lost and vulnerable to death in this kingdom. Now it was her turn, no matter how much the toll would be on her.

The moment she pulled Fai so close to her that their bodies were aligned along each other from head to toe, she started tapping into her reserves, focusing on directing her heat to the other. As soon as she did, an icy wave slammed into her nerves, rattling her body and causing her to yell in shock. Her lungs began to burn and the columns in her chest started to tighten up. Everything in sight became blurry so fast, and with her head swimming in hazy vision she started to hear excruciating noises and wails that thudded in her ears. They were the same that had haunted her in her dreams and nightmares, but they felt so close and so real that they were hurting her so much and they wouldn’t leave her. The pain was so intense that she couldn’t even scream out loud. Her body couldn’t handle it anymore and it wanted to let go of Fai so it wouldn’t have to go through the misery, but Kurogane didn’t. Instead she held onto the shivering princess tighter, never wanting to let go.

_I won’t let you…_

Everything was turning black and the voices were droning out. For the second time as of late Kurogane was afraid that this sleep would be eternal, but she mustn’t.

_I won’t…_

As she felt her and Fai drifting off, not knowing what would happen, the last thing she heard was the resonation of a clear, soothing voice.

_O’ Child of Ember … Can you save my sweet Child of Snow?_


	5. Pathway to Salvation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fai always had one simple wish, a wish that Kurogane may be able to grant.

_She was chilled to her bones, but her suffocating lungs felt as if they were bursting from flames. No longer were there only images of fire and the sensations of smokes clouding her head and seeping into her eyes, nose and mouth; there were also cold air rattling in her chest, coldness pinpricking on her skins like needles that send her nerves on fire. The combination of fire and ice was becoming so excruciatingly painful that she just wanted to die just so she didn’t have to feel this or feel anything anymore. The haunting cries of that mysterious woman returned, and right in front of her eyes the voice paved way to an image of a lady with long, black hair and fiery red eyes. She was tending to her burns, and her tears served as healing water. Drip, drip they went, and soon the enigmatic ember spirit morphed gradually into a pool of water._

_The surface turned icy, but it immediately cracked and soon another feminine figure emerged. This time she had flowing golden hair and frosty blue eyes that looked so familiar. A diadem made out of ice encircled her forehead, creating a beautiful, ethereal effect. She smiled and extended her arms, sweeping robes spilling to the dark floor below them._

_“Come, I must show you something,” the snow spirit said in her soft, airy voice. The pacifying offer was so soothing that she immediately accepted it. As soon as her hands touched those of the spirit, her pain started to alleviate, but all was yet to be over…_

* * *

_Snow…_

Snow was all she was seeing and they were falling from the vast gray sky. Droplets of them swirled gracefully and softly until they landed on the surface. None of them touched her skin at all ( _because she knew this wasn’t real, and yet, where exactly was she taken?_ ) She then shifted her attention to the ground that was made with cobblestones, blanketed with powder, followed with the grand building rising in front of her. There were turrets with icicles dangling from the windowpanes and smoke rose from many chimneys stacked on top. It didn’t take her long to understand that this was a castle as she stood there marveling at the dark, grand entrance in awe. 

Suddenly she heard laughter coming down from the hall, and right in front of her eyes a child no older than the age of five or six was running right close to where she was standing. When she got a better inspection of the child, she had a double take. 

The girl had hair as brilliant as the sun and her eyes were crystal blue. She was dressed in a thick white dress adorned with blue intricate patterns, and when the girl smiled she was instantly reminded of _her. (But could it be?)_ Snow landed on her and the girl laughed once more, snowflakes dancing off of her golden eyelashes. She threw out her arms and twirled and twirled, spinning herself in a circle endlessly. Her cheeks were already turning so pink from the cold, but it was so clear that she was as happy as could be.

“O’ sweet child, where are you?”

The girl stopped in her track. “Over here, Mother!”

She followed the child’s attention back to the entrance as well and saw another person heading towards their way. Her mother revealed herself at last, and it was striking how much her child resembled her. Golden hair reached past her waist and a diadem made out of ice crowned her head. She resembled the first snow spirit the general had encountered earlier, except she was not aware of her presence. So this must be the Queen of Snow, she realized.

“You shouldn’t be outside on your own,” the queen chastised, sighing but still smiling in good patience.

“I know,” her daughter said, “but it started snowing and I _had_ to see it.”

“But my child, you already know that it snows a lot. There is no need to run outside to greet it without royal supervision.”

The princess pouted and whined, “But Mother, you know it makes me happy.” 

She wondered how the child could get away with treating her mother, let alone the queen, like that. To her surprise, the queen laughed and bent down to brush snow from her daughter’s sun-silk hair.

“Of course, sweet child,” she said, and the girl smiled back. “When the snow falls in our kingdom, the people and the spirits are always happy and grateful, knowing that the balance is still there. And that is why our beloved land will always flourish, my dearest Fai.”

* * *

Those bright and prosperous days were too good to last forever.

News of the fall of the neighboring Kingdom of Ember had reached the castle. The queen had turned pale upon hearing the words. The crusaders of modern civilization and warfare were reputed to be powerful and unpredictable, and if the kingdom who was known to produce the finest of warriors even amongst the nobility had succumbed to the enemies, then it could only mean that the Kingdom of Snow would be next. Rumors had it that one of the King of Ember’s daughters had fled from the kingdom, but the queen had seen to it that the same fate would not happen for the sake of her child. With her head held high, she summoned a meeting with the court and the captain of the knights to map out a quick defense strategy in preparation for a war. 

A young one like Fai should not have known about this so soon, but since she was the crown princess her mother had no other choice but to tell her the grave situation their people and the kingdom were about to encounter. Although the reigning monarch had the highest power when it came to the sacred connection to the cold element, Fai was the sole heir and had much, much potential to be even more powerful than her mother. Her vulnerability was at an all high level, and it was agreed that no matter what happened, her life must not be taken whatsoever. 

From then on Princess Fai had no choice but to remain in the confines of the castle, removed from the rest of the kingdom. As the only royal child Fai was naturally lonely. Her favorite spot was the vast library, and her new friends were books. She read on many subjects, especially the histories of the neighboring kingdoms. All hopes of leaving the place someday, even for just diplomatic visits were gone, and so she treasured the tales and the legends to fulfill her fantasies and childish whims. One of the books she encountered were ladled with ancient texts, and after fruitlessly spending hours and hours consulting the translation book, Fai learned that those texts were spells, spells that no one in the royal family had used for years. When no one was carefully watching, the princess would practice them, using her fingers to trace in the air while speaking in her people’s ancient native tongue.

The first thing she learned was how to make a creature for a new friend. It didn’t last long, but it was a start.

* * *

In the end, the queen had decided to use her royal powers to manipulate the element. She channeled the snow and wind into terrifying blizzards, surrounding the perimeters of the kingdom with them so that no outsiders and enemies could enter the land. Only pure and true, strong magic could penetrate the defenses, and with reports that the invaders had no such powers, there were still hope that the queen could keep her kingdom at bay from total destruction. It wasn’t the ideal decision, but it was the unfortunate circumstances that had led to this as the last resort. 

The entire Kingdom of Snow was then shut away from the rest of the world as the ongoing battle between the ancient ways and that of the new pressed on, but the somber knowledge that the sealing would only impede, and not truly prevent, from imminent destruction loomed in the hearts and mind of Queen Elda and her people.

Days, months, and then soon years passed by as the people of snow continued living their lives as best as they could. Security was of course fortified, both around the castle and at the borders of the great kingdom. Children no longer had the same carefree freedom to roam and play about outside and everybody took great care to remain indoors as soon as the sun set down. 

Such way of living in guarded manners was nothing new to the princess, who was still bound within the castle grounds. When Fai was not tending to her lessons or other royal duties she would still shut herself in the libraries, scrambling eagerly through more textbooks and discerning archaic language and spells. With practice over the years Fai knew she was progressing very well in the magic of her ancestors. Even though the royal family no longer practiced them, the young princess found joy in it. A part of it stemmed from her sincere hope that one day, with her chances of becoming more powerful than her mother could ever be, she would be able to use these difficult magic to save her kingdom for good and bring back peace and hope.

One day, when a brutal blizzard was blowing through the land, Fai found a tattered book hidden behind many books. It was covered in so much dust that she concluded it had to be abandoned for quite some amount of time. She carefully opened it, peeling page after page until it landed on one with lots of scrawled notes. Pulling a waning candle closer towards the text, she read it, eager and hopeful to test out another spell. A more powerful spell that could manipulate the winds and the currents and even blizzards for days on ends, more powerful and enduring than the current arts the queen had been enforcing. 

Heart beating fast, Fai lifted a finger.

_Ineh forze  
dalai toh_

She traced a circle while still keeping her eyes glued to the incantation, the ink so old that it was nearly fading.

_Preyearth amas  
sundrith moh_

Suddenly, a strong gust of wind ushered forth from her. It was so fierce that she fell back. The pages on the old textbook flipped violently and closed shut, the shelves rattled, and the surrounding windows shook. Outside the blizzard began moving erratically even more so, until something peculiar caught her eyes as Fai struggled to hold onto the windowpanes.

A path was being carved out, one so smooth and visible that anyone who were daring and brave enough could try to venture on it. Blue eyes widened in wonder, and Fai knew, just knew that this had to be of her doing. 

Her time of reverie and awe was interrupted as she heard yells and cries from court people and soldiers outside of the library. Soon the door burst open and her mother, the advisor, and scores of knights came in, surrounding her. Fai wondered what all the commotion was about, but as soon as she looked at her mother and saw how pale she looked, everything around her felt cold.

“My child,” Elda cried out, wrapping her arms protectively around Fai, “thank goodness you are alright.”

“Mother!” Fai was suddenly afraid, but she knew she needed to know. “Whatever is the matter?”

The queen’s face twisted in agony. Her lips grew thinner as she quickly eyed everyone else around them, before addressing her daughter again. She blinked to hold back tears and finally answered, but her voice was so quiet that Fai could barely hear her despair.

“The worst has come,” she said. “The barriers have broken, and our kingdom is now being invaded.”

“No…” Fai brought her hands up to her cheeks. “No, it can’t be…”

Her mother then brought her close and held her tight, and Fai reluctantly let her be comforted. Although Fai was devastated just as much as everyone else, the most horrible feeling possessed her. She knew – she just knew it was whatever she had just done that had destroyed the barrier.

And now, the fates of the people and the kingdom were doomed at the very hands of their Princess of Snow.

* * *

Catching on fire was one of the worst and torturous ways to die, slow and agonizing. That was the cruel fates for many people of the neighboring Kingdom of Ember when the connection broke and the nation slowly became one large, inhabitable molten pit. The same could be said for freezing to death.

That was, if the interlopers hadn’t gotten to them already or they were one of the fortunate few souls to flee the borders. 

The restless troops waiting outside seized the opportunity to raid the outskirts of the kingdom. With the unexpected and ill-fating collapse of the queen’s barrier, the people along the perimeters were quickly decimated. No mercy was given as houses were burned, crops and land stock were destroyed, and scores of men, women and children were slaughtered. Blankets of snow were soon covered in red, laces of blood and ashes left behind to taint the most precious element that the natives revered. Death quickly befouled the kingdom, and as both the people and snow were affected, the delicate balance between the elements and humans was now on the brink of destruction.

Because several fine soldiers from the castle were amongst the casualties, peasant men were quickly drafted to assist in the warfare on the home front. For some they took their new roles with grim acceptance and for others they were unhappy with the prospect of fueling the poison that would soon pave way to destroy and corrupt their very own minds. Life beget life and death beget death. The people revered nature and nature thrived on the people. But now the very nature was being destroyed all in the name of the reckless drive towards modern civilization, away from the ancient ways of living in front of Fai’s eyes.

The air started to change for the worse. Snow wouldn’t stop falling and bitter wind howled incessantly, bringing pockets of frigid, cold air for long periods of time that crops that hadn’t been already destroyed by the outsiders would perish. Blizzards no longer followed a seasonal pattern. The chaos resulted in more cold spells, more unexpected illnesses – and in the pandemic spreading throughout the regions the people began to drop dead in the masses before anything could be done. _Nothing_ could be done. The balance was now upset, had been tipped over, and now the snow natives were in danger of succumbing to fatal stages of hypothermia even in the comforts of their insulated homes. The domino effect soon became brutal. The more the climate became harsh, the more people die, and the more that die, the more unstable the snow acclimated. 

With the war escalating and the invaders treading ever closer to the castle, it was nigh time that Elda personally saw to it to teach her daughter and heir the more recent ways to master manipulating the snow. The queen’s own life force was slowly chipping away at a dangerous pace, for as the reigning monarch, the spirits of the people and the element depended on her to uphold the forces for as long as she could as to not have the kingdom collapse completely. Therefore it was important that the princess strengthened her power to help protect their people to the best of her ability, and Fai gladly did so.

Ever since the horrible realization of her own actions leading to these devastating affairs and mass tragedies that afflicted her very own people, the Princess of Snow couldn’t bring it upon herself to confess her own grave mistakes to her mother. Instead, Fai stayed away from the library, refusing to ever open another stale book pressed in dusty corners and bookshelves or even enter the room. But in her heart, nothing could ever fully atone for the consequences of her childish practices.

Nothing could sway her painful remorse anymore when her mother died after using up the last of her energy to keep the elements at bay. At the age of fourteen, the entire future of the kingdom laid on the shoulders of Princess Fai.

* * *

Several years had passed and it showed.

Fai was no longer a girl, and now as a woman who had full authority she was tending to an audience. Signs of stress and age were showing. Her hair was significantly longer and thinner, the color slowly turning paler much like her complexion. There was a frown on her face as she listened to a citizen speaking. The man was livid, articulating his own needs and concerns with his hands. He was wearing frayed gloves. Patches of fabric had been heavily worn off that bits of his fingers were exposed and they were solid black. Fai nodded her head here and there while a court scribe next to her scribbled away, hastily, with the thick woolen gloves he luxuriously wore. All faces in the princess’ audience were pale and grim; some even looked sickly. It was clear that the days grew rougher as time passed.

Long after the man’s speech, followed by several others, Fai was now in a different room with other dignitaries. They pored over notes and debated heavily on their new plan of actions. It turned out that the speaker from earlier was a director of an orphanage, who was so distraught and agitated and had reported the most devastating of news. More children were being sent to the orphanage by the numbers – that was not surprising. But now the incidents of orphans freezing to death were growing at an alarming and horrible rate, and in desperation the director had sought the royal council to help the children out. And now in the chamber room, the princess made her voice clear that they would take additional steps to supply the orphanage, along with any other services, with better insulation tools. Signing off some documents and consulting with the royal treasurer, Fai sighed and stayed in her place, long after everyone else had left.

“Every time the snow falls, more people just die. It won’t ever stop. But if only I could do something to spare the people’s lives, I would.”

Her voice was trembling, and now that she was alone in privacy, Fai let go of her assured, firm monarch stance and went to her fearful, wounded self.

“What am I going to do?”

* * *

_That night she dreamed of neverending snow, wind rippling from all corners of the world so cold and fierce that people died by the minutes and then seconds. Ice started to encase rocks and homes, freezing water for so long that thirst became a problem because other sources were already tainted. The population dwindled as the snow continued falling and the chill became so severe that ice started to form at her feet, slowly making their way up her body. Her nerves were screaming in pain and cold and the spirits echoed along one by one, begging her to end it all and to do something. The ice was now reaching mid waist and by then waves of the snow people had left the borders in caravans, leaving her there in her cold prison, heart slowly stopping, fading, dying…_

* * *

When the spirits showed up in dreams with their messages, they have to be listened. Fai’s restless sleep was interrupted late into the night by the thunderous pounding at her bedchamber’s doors, and when she went to open it after fastening a warm robe and saw Nokoru, captain of the knights, with blood smeared across his armor, she understood.

“The castle is being attacked, Your Highness,” he said, gravely, “and I, Sir Nokoru, have come to assist with your emergency escort.” 

If the world all around her hadn’t collapsed yet owing to her presence, she swore it was right now. “Where are you taking me?”

“To a remote shack, Your Highness. Her Late Majesty had one constructed and concealed should this day ever come. As captain of the knights, it would be in the best of interest that we leave as soon as possible. I’ll be waiting out here while you get dressed.” 

He shut the door, leaving Fai alone in her room. Time was pressing, but to her, it felt endless. She stayed there for a moment, wrought with her assessment of the situation.

The first waves of invaders had long ago been driven out from the kingdom, leaving the survivors and the royal family to live precariously as their cherished and beloved home was slowly killing them. There was no reason for them to come back anymore – the damage had been done, and their agenda to desecrate the ancient ways between nature and humans was working. Ruling that out could only mean one thing. The people were revolting, or perhaps worse, their minds had become fully corrupted from the disturbance in the natural forces. Either way, the grimly phase had come at last, and with a horrible pit gnawing in her stomach and mind reeling with the guilt from years ago, Fai collapsed on the floor. 

For a moment she stayed like that, body completely locked down as if something possessed her. She shut her eyes so tight and clenched on her teeth, writhing in pain. After what seemed like long minutes, Fai broke out of her possessed spell and gasped for air. Her face was paler than usual, blue eyes widening in horror. A quick communion with the spirits had occurred.

“I have to – I have to appease the spirits,” she uttered. Choking back some tears, she clasped her hands to her chest in a mournful prayer. “Yes…it’s the only way…”

There was no way she would allow herself to just flee the castle, away from the attacks, and not do anything to rectify the worsening condition of her people. Where there was a will, there was a way. That was what her late mother had taught her in the olden days, melding an impression of the innate strength in the dynasty. And Fai knew what she had to do.

She took some breaths and composed herself, her head firm with decisions. With that Fai went about to change into a set of warm travelling clothing, fastening the rich cloak over her. When she returned to Nokoru outside of her chambers, he tightened a grip on his sword, eyed the other surrounding knights who were standing guard for them, nodded, and then beckoned for Fai to follow him. 

“I will take you to a secret exit out of this castle, but we will have to quickly pass beyond the Great Hall as stealthily as we can. Once we reach the exit we will ride to the outskirts of the kingdom where Her Late Majesty had secured a place for you, Your Highness.”

“But Sir Nokoru, what will happen when I leave the castle? Shouldn’t I be doing something for our people?”

“Your safety is our utmost concern, Your Highness,” Nokoru said, quickening his pace. “The kingdom depends on your presence, and so long as you stay within the borders you are still doing your royal role in upholding its livelihood.”

“Yes, I know.” But she still didn’t feel settled enough. Remnants of her nightmare and communion lingered on her mind. “Yet I feel I should be addressing our people directly, rather than just cover and hide and doing my service to the spirits at the most of possible, minimum ways. Because I –”

“ _Watch out!_ ”

Suddenly, Fai was pinned to the wall, shielded by Nokoru. Barrages of arrows flew at them; some lodging right into the knight’s chainmail. She started to scream but then he pressed a hand over her mouth, silencing her. One arrow had pierced him very close to the back of his neck. He wasn’t out cold yet, but he was already losing a lot of blood, on top of his other injuries he sustained from fighting beforehand.

“There she is!” 

Trapped, Fai saw as waves of men stormed the hallway, nearly blockading the entire path. Scores of soldiers followed after. Something didn’t feel right. Nokoru had already turned around, sword drawn at the ready. His subordinate commanders Suoh and Akira soon joined him with their weapons drawn, surrounding all sides of the princess to protect her. Both of their armors were coated in blood as well. Fai did not want to know just how many bloodshed were already being spilt on the castle grounds in the last few hours late in the night. For a moment, nobody attacked. All eyes were laid on the three knights and the princess.

“Are you all mad?” Suoh barked.

None of them look possessed in any shapes or manners. But the room was cold, dreadfully cold, despite the cold sweat prickling down the back of her neck. All eyes of her people seemed far and distant. A horrible thought weighed deeply in her stomach. They were worse than mad.

They’d been poisoned. Poisoned as a result of the balance between nature and human destroyed so much that they had lost sense of what once was harmony. There were no outsiders to be enraged at, no enemies to unleash their hatred and violence at. There were only each other, and the nobility with the princess at the heart of the matters. No wonder the spirits were so disturbed in her dreams that night.

“Leave the castle, and nobody gets hurt. Aim any weapon on the princess, and there will be more blood,” Akira warned. 

It didn’t matter. It was too late. More people would get hurt no matter what, unless Fai stepped in now.

“Don’t you see?” one of them finally said. “This is all her fault.”

Suddenly she couldn’t breathe and her head started to hurt again. The statement behind those words had haunted her for the past few years. The three knights surrounded tighter around her.

“How dare you maliciously attack Her Highness with your foul words, commoner,” Nokoru said. “Princess Fai has done nothing but sacrifice her health and well-being to uphold the kingdom and I will have _nobody_ under my watch desecrate a fair and noble lady such as Her Highness.”

“Oh is that so. Then tell me, Princess, why have all the children died then?”

There was an angry din as the speaker stepped forward. It was the same orphanage director from the previous day, who had come begging the royal council to do everything they could in their power to help stop more orphans from freezing to death in their sleeps. He grabbed something from his tattered coat pocket and threw it at the feet of the three knights. All eyes landed on the object, where a lone burnt matchstick laid.

“I saw it in the hand of a little boy, no older than eight,” he quietly said. “Probably last match he had. Lit it to spare him and his little sister from freezing to death. But then a nasty wind blew and snuffed it. Us adults have it better in surviving than the children, but when I went to check on him and all the others. Dead. All of them.”

If she wasn’t trapped in this life-or-death situation, Fai would have wept openly, mourning for the losses of tens of children in one night. But she couldn’t for all she tried, not as the nagging and haunting thoughts of the spirits weighted in her mind. Not as everything inside of her was saying that she deserved it all for her foolish mistake years ago. Not as she had already wept many time beforehand as her beloved homeland and its people were being wiped out.

“So answer me, Princess, _ANSWER ME_!”

“Do not raise your voice at Her Highness!”

“Sir Nokoru-”

“Well, she’s finally speaking like she’s ought to-”

“We’re warning you!”

“Princess of Snow, may your soul rot to-”

“ _That’s enough!_ ”

Nokoru had snapped and ran out of his formation, leaving an open spot for Fai to be attacked. Akira and Suoh quickly formed new stances around the princess and in utter rage and chaos a brawl ensued right in front of Fai’s eyes. She witnessed, in horror, at how the beloved knight captain had succumbed to the poison just as the other commoners. Nokoru, who had been so sweet and kind to her as a child, always saying he would not even let a fly harm someone so precious and worthy as her. Nokoru, who had been there for her in those times she didn’t have to be alone in the library. Nokoru, who was there for her when she grieved for the loss of her mother. Sir Nokoru, who was on the brink of madness because of her and if Fai didn’t do something soon, then they’ll be all…

“ _Levius!_ ” 

A large wind swept through them, knocking everybody apart to stop the fight. Nobody was expecting that, not even the princess, who was shaking heavily. Magic, she had just done ancient magic again in front of dozens of people, and there was no hiding it anymore. Now was her chance to set things right, the only way to lead the last remainder of her kind to the path of salvation and hope.

“You’re right,” she said, trembling. “It was all my fault, and I can prove it.”

With her fingers working again to trace a quick circle, she said the words that she had wished to forget but never could. There was a disturbance in the area as a powerful wave of wind ushered from her fingertips, riding down the hall. She could feel a path being forged in the blizzard at the mercy of her power, and by the way everybody was looking at each other with wide eyes, Fai knew that they’d finally understood the source of the disturbance that had broken the barrier Queen Elda had put up years ago.

“But I can help you all,” she spoke again. Fai felt faint, but she pressed on regardless. “I will do this spell as many times as it’ll take until everybody alive who is capable and wishes to are able to leave this kingdom and find refuge somewhere out in the greater world.”

“And how could we trust you, Your Highness?” said a man.

Despite how tired and anguished she was Fai remained tall and calm.

“Because it’s the only way, and I will do _everything_ in my power to make sure no more deaths will occur as the sole heir of this kingdom.”

“Even we knights, Your Highness?” Suoh said.

“Yes, Sir Suoh, but some will be among the last to leave. And meanwhile, I will stay here to shepherd our people.” 

“But, Your Highness!” Nokoru cried out. “What about you? What about you in the end?”

She was relieved had not lost his sweetness in the end. Her fate? Well, she knew what it was the moment she woke up from her nightmares this harrowing evening, nay, since the day she understood the fatalistic consequences of that dangerous spell she performed on that fateful day. The spirits had designated it as fit for her role as the Princess of Snow, fit as a sentence for what she had done and could never, ever forgive herself for.

“Sir Nokoru, the spirits and I have agreed that I would be bound upon this land to uphold the last remnants of the sacred connection between the elements and our kind, and so I will.”

Fai smiled, a somber one, however, for she had resigned to her fate for a very, very long time.

“Until the day I die.”

* * *

With the last of the exodus done, Fai had departed from the castle, empty as it was with no more servants, knights and court officials to fill the vast halls with life. Most citizens had taken her bargain to flee the perilous blizzards while some stayed behind, either too stubborn or too ill and feeble to be able to survive on their own out in the greater world. There was nothing left she could do for those who had chosen to stay behind; because once more people had left the land, the kingdom’s ravage grew worse, spelling death for them all except for her. Truly left alone, the princess chose to head to the shack that her mother had made for her.

And now, here she was.

The shack was well furnished, equipped with a cozy bed and layers of quilts. A small round table and a chair sat by the empty fireplace. Pantries and shelves lined along a small wall for Fai to store cooking items, things she made sure to secure from the castle’s kitchen before heading out. There was even a rug laid on top of the barren floor. For something that was placed in a remote region far in the outskirts of the kingdom, Fai had to admit that it did look homey, even though she was now the last one standing. The thought of her mother, gone from the physical world for years, had gone to the trouble of ensuring something modest and cozy enough for her safety brought tears to her eyes. She quickly wiped them away and then felt Chii brushing her nose along her coat sleeve.

_This place is close to the borders. Do you think you will ever be tempted to leave this place for good?_

Fai frowned. “No.”

As a child, she had dreamed of visiting other places, experiencing the wonders of the other elements. But that was crushed when she was trapped in the castle, and now as the sole survivor and heir, it was impossible to even want to break the last living connection between a human and the elements. It was against their nature. Fai had simply let go of her childish hopes and dreams a long time ago.

“But at least I was able to create and have you,” Fai said, smiling, as she opened the door with the tiny key at last.

* * *

There was a disturbance in the air when Fai and Chii were out foraging for food.  
She could feel the way the patterns in the wind and snow shifted significantly different than their current chaotic state. Fai nearly dropped her basket of berries from sudden shock.

“An outsider?”

 _It looks so_ , said Chii, who had started sniffing suspiciously. Her companion growled, but then Fai motioned to calm her down.

“Wait for a moment.” 

She closed her eyes, tapping into her reserves to communicate with the spirits that lurked around. They were still there, everywhere, lamenting the loss of the kingdom, serving as guides and companions for Fai. They were suddenly running high on energy, no doubt feeding off on the discovery of a human who had just entered this land.

“This outsider is not a threat to me,” Fai boldly concluded, shutting off the communion. Gathering her supplies together, she secured the rope around Chii’s neck and climbed on her. “And we must go aid that person.”

Chii snarled in protest. Fai promptly shut her snout and scowled in her ears, “Listen to me, the spirits had given me permission. Now _go_.”

They took off. Against the snow, Fai quickly summoned the powerful spell that would pave way for a smoother path, in the hopes of reaching to that foreigner before time ran out for them. As soon as she finished the words and the familiar windy blast came forth, something sharp gnawed in her stomach. Fai cried in pain, and in shock she slipped off of Chii, who then ran back and nudged her.

_Don’t be so silly, child. With having more than yourself to keep the land from killing you all, you’re growing weaker. Don’t push yourself._

“I know,” Fai wheezed, “but I want to help that person. Please…I’ll be fine. Let’s just keep going.”

They were off again, heading towards the stranger whose presence was growing stronger. There was no indication if this person had sensed her help, but Fai was going to try, because she couldn’t let them die out here cold alone. And besides, it may meant – 

“Chii, why did you stop?”

Her companion sniffed again and started spinning in a circle. _I don’t smell the scent anymore._

“What?” Fai scrambled to hone for the presence again, but to her dismay it was faint, on the verge of dying.

“No, I was hoping to…”

_I’m sorry, child, but there is nothing else we can do. Let’s head back home now._

Fai shook her head. “No, let’s go to that person still. I owe it to them – I should pray for them.”

By the time they reached the destination, everything seemed still. Lying in the blanket of snow was a body, wrapped up in a fetal position in hopes of staying warm until death won. Fai walked up to the person, and quietly thanked the spirits that at the very least his eyes were closed. In his hands were flowers, fresh and beautiful. They were pink, and their tiny petals reminded her of cherry blossoms from one of the many books she studied in her spare time. She wondered if this man was on his way somewhere, perhaps travelling, and found these beautiful flowers at the hidden Land of the Cherry Blossoms, a hidden locale near the dead Kingdom of Terra. Soon Fai had the image that these flowers were intended for a beloved, and the thought that this lovely person would never get to see this man ever again broke her heart.

It took some time until, with the aid of Chii, she was able to salvage a makeshift burial site and bury the brunet. Fai ensured that the cherry blossoms were still tucked securely in his frostbitten fingers, and as she murmured the ancient, sacred funeral prayers, tears poured out of her eyes for another regrettable loss.

* * *

The man with cherry blossoms was not the only victim.

As the months – _years_ – went by, Fai and Chii encountered more stranded outsiders entering the borders of the kingdom. Each and every time her companion would caution her otherwise, but Fai would then insist that she still must do what she could, not only as the surviving princess of the land, but also as acts of repentance and benevolence. Yet with each passing moment her force slowly diminished, causing the world around her to be so brutal that it would get harder and harder for anybody to notice her pathways. Fai kept somber counts of how many more people died under her own hands, adding to the toll that were already devastating from her people, but as time went on she ceased. Burdened with these tragedies, Fai grew numb, bitterly used to them, yet she never wanted to give up whenever another case happened. It was foolish, she felt, but Fai couldn’t help it.

She couldn’t let anyone die anymore, not if she could help it.

One day – now with hair turning bleak white and growing past her waist and skin sunken – she and Chii were out again, darting furiously across her new path. The location was pinpointed to be a barren cavern that lined on the west. Fai prayed that the person had at least taken refuge inside the cavern, away from the deadly blizzards howling like never before. Along the way they started to detect a sign of warmth. The signs were more hopeful – that person had a source of heat with them at the very least. Maybe this time a death wouldn’t occur. She could nurse this person back to health and help send them back out of this wretched place.

“Almost there,” she whispered. The path started caving in. Wasting no time, she started carving the path again, and finally she could make out the entrance. “Just you wait, we will –”

A jolt lit in her body. Screaming, Fai fell off of Chii. Her muscles started to ache and the air started to feel so tight that she couldn’t breathe. But today was not the day she was going to die, so she would live, but as for the other person…

She felt that same warmth extinguish.

“ _No!_ ” 

She didn’t care if she was in pain. Fai pushed herself up, and in a moment of anger and despair she ran on her own to the entrance, leaving Chii behind and ignoring her companion’s cry to come back before she regret it. Fai didn’t care – she was going to give the afterlife blessings to this stranger, just like she had for the last hundred or so victims. 

The body was slumped along the inner walls of the cavern. Fai could still smell the last of the smoke rising from what were clearly matchsticks, littering the ground around frozen boots. Tufts of blond hair fell from the hood that was white, trimmed in blue. She stopped, eyes widened in horror at the realization that this was not a stranger, but a former citizen of this land.

Her heart nearly stopped when she recognized the symbol of the knighthood.

“Nokoru?”

Fai fell onto her knees. She refused to believe it was the one and only former captain of the knights who had bravely defended and protected her until he and his fellow men tearfully departed from the kingdom. But there was no point in lying. His eyes were still partially open and she bravely looked into them, as if he was still alive, happy to converse with her.

“Nokoru?” In desperation, Fai waved a hand in front of him, blindly hoping those haunting eyes would blink. “Nokoru!” She flipped back the hood and started shaking him, her vision becoming blurry. No, no, _no_!

“Nokoru! _Nokoru!_ ”

Fai broke down, sobbing, not caring if she wasn’t supposed to hold her former knight and friend this way. Never in her own mind would she thought of seeing anybody who had fled come back and then die at the very hand of his beloved home, especially not a knight, who had known the territory well to know where to go and how long to stay to ensure he would survive.

She knew Chii had arrived a long time ago, who stayed behind and remained silent, not willing to step forward and comfort her immediately. Chii for once was giving her space to grieve, and grieve Fai did. She cried, she wailed, she screamed, and in the cavern’s space her anguish echoed. When at last Fai felt her reservoir of tears were depleted and she couldn’t cry anymore, she looked into glossy eyes again.

“Why did you come back?”

The wind howled as usual in the background. Nothing came out of his still mouth.

“Is it because you thought I was lonely? Like how you sometimes dropped by the library when you were young and just a page in training?”

Memories of her youth, of safer days marked by dark times, resurfaced, overwhelming her. When the hours got dark and she shut the books and headed out of the library, the princess would run into the page who would bow and greet her. The first time he bestowed a flower, as a token of loyalty and friendship. They never had much time to spend in each other’s company with their duties, but she treasured it nevertheless.

“You knew, didn’t you? That I’m still lonely. Lonely, lonely, lonely.” 

For the first time, she was able to fully confess how she felt all those years.

“Books became my friends. I found spells, indulged in them. I made a creature that did not last too long. Now, I have Chii. But…”

She was wrong. There were still deposits of tears left.

“But Chii is not a human. I never knew what it was like to have more human companionship, so I just drowned myself more and more into spells. When I found that book on that shelf – I should have known better. I was an idiot, a fool, a disgrace. I was never able to tell Mother what I had done, not even on her dying breath. I was too ashamed to tell her it was her heir, her daughter’s wickedness that had broken her powerful barrier. And now…”

Rage the likes she never felt before overwhelmed her.

“Nobody is here anymore. Everyone either died or left because of me. I tried to save anybody who got lost here but I was always too late. I thought I got over it, got over betraying everybody, waiting until the day I die and join the rest of the spirits as our kingdom died. But I never stopped betraying people, never stopped letting people die under my conscience. And now you, Sir Nokoru, I have betrayed you, and for that I don’t deserve your compassion, no matter what your intentions were of returning here in this wicked and perverse land. Why would you? You knew it was my fault then, _why_ did you return then?”

_Fai..._

“Are all these deaths still a punishment?” she yelled, ignoring Chii. “For nearly my entire life I was locked away because of the powers I have. And look what they had done – they destroyed instead of saving the people. Was this bound to happen over and over until I die?!” 

_No Fai!_ By then Chii had run over to her.

 _“Is it a sin to be happy?”_

The walls started shaking.

_Fai, stop! Control yourself before you block us all in here._

The sound of an avalanche threatening to shut the cavern’s entrance managed to snap Fai out of her delirium. Just like that, the snow started to tone down. No longer able to fight back those tears she buried her whole body into Chii’s fur and cried.

“Mother, I’m so lonely.”

 _You are not, my child,_ Chii, now simply the vassal of her mother’s spirit, reassured. _Close your eyes and look around. Feel the spirits. They are everywhere. You’re still not alone. And you still have your duty that you personally and willfully agreed to, remember that._

Fai let go and walked back to Nokoru, hovering a hand over his eyes.

“What good am I as the princess, when my kingdom lies in ruins?” she said bitterly, finally closing his eyes at last.

But her mother was right. She’d made a promise that she would uphold the last dignity of the kingdom until her own body could no longer fight, leaving her to die at last in the sanctity of her precious home. Fai left Nokoru there and headed out to the entrance, facing the snow as always.

“No matter how breathtaking or horrible it can get, our holy element is still here. And for that…I should be grateful to have that to seek comfort in.”

Resigned to her fate once again, Fai set to bury Nokoru outside of the cavern, where she delivered a eulogy for him. She lit the remaining matchstick in his honor, and made a vow for all the snow spirits to witness. The Princess of Snow had a heavy change of heart. No longer would she die in her sleep in the shack left by her mother. She would spend her last few precious days here in this cavern, where a brave and kind, fellow snow native had fallen, and breathe her last breath there with him.

* * *

The beloved knight was the last person to wind up in this forsaken kingdom. It was nothing short of relief for Fai, who wasn’t able to bear any more grief after her breakdown that awful day in the cavern. For another year or so she drifted in and out of the shack, doing the minimum tasks as needed and visiting the cavern to pay respect to Nokoru. Slowly she relocated her few remaining possessions to her new and final home, where she constructed a fire pit to the best she could.

When she was sure her life was coming to an end, Fai locked the shack, tucked the key in her traveling sack, and bid farewell to the last haven her mother had provided for her all those time. 

She was not afraid of death, unlike the harrowing death that this kingdom would soon meet at last. Death was inevitable, a part of nature. In as much, it comforted her that soon she would join the other spirits. Fai had done all she could in her power, but deep down, she still harbored the guilt. Time would only tell how she would be received in the spiritual world, where all of her ancestors roamed.

On the eve of the last day of her life, she prepared her favorite soup, flavored with the sweetness of the plant that she had secured out of sheer luck. Fai struggled to keep the fire going while she cooked. Her body was worn with fatigue, but that didn’t stop her. But as time went on, she realized that she still needed to rekindle the fire. It was becoming a grave task for her, and there was only so much she could do scraping wood and rocks to start a new one.

Until, unexpectedly, the flames leapt to life, their warmth emanating the entire cavern.

Fai’s short cries alarmed Chii to come to her aide. She then explained to Chii what she had just observed, and when her companion couldn’t come up with a solution herself, Fai understood.

“I - I don’t believe it…”

Of course, but – at the same time, she had hoped no more would have come. But there was no doubt. Another person had entered the borders, inexplicably causing the fire to burst into life spectacularly. Fai had never encountered that odd disturbance before. 

“What if, what if this is the last survivor of the Kingdom of Ember?” she whispered.

_I don’t know, but even if it is so, it is a risk._

“Yes, but I remember reading in the books that was how you know a person from that land was arriving.” All of a sudden, she felt intrigued and hopeful again. Dared she hope to believe that this was the survivor of legends, the last heir of the Kingdom of Ember?

“Either way, I have to help that person.” Now was her chance, another one, in vain of hoping she could spare a life this time.

_You don’t know – it could happen again._

“I don’t know until I try,” Fai retorted. Her words stung, however, knowing that was precisely how she got everybody in trouble in the end.

_But, Fai, you know your time is running out. Are you sure you are willing to sacrifice everything to save this stray person?_

“I can’t let anyone die!”

Her voice had grown so cold, so icy and blunt that Chii stopped questioning the princess’ desires. The companion chided her for breaking out into another burst of temper, and in shame Fai calmed down immediately. The last thing she wanted was to have her mood affect the region and jeopardize the poor foreigner further. Sighing, she sat back down on the large rock and picked up a long branch, its tips burnt from already being used to stoke, and prodded the white hot rocks underneath the logs.

“But I know it. I feel something extraordinary coming from this stranger,” Fai said. Both she and Chii observed how the fire was still growing, its flames soaring higher in response to the detection of another living being at the borders of the Kingdom of Snow.

Fai knew it meant something and that in particular it was someone – and she still believed – someone from the neighboring Kingdom of Ember that had long ago fallen when she was just a child, naïve and frightened. Maybe the symptoms of hypothermia were already encroaching on her to create that delusion. Yet even so, the snow princess had felt an unusual reassurance coming from her fire that had leapt extraordinarily right in front of her eyes. Feeling momentously inspired and emboldened, Fai rose and walked to the entrance of the cavern, bracing the cold snow once more. Yes, she would die soon, but Fai only wanted to help this person out before she left the physical world.

And have that one last chance to see a live, breathing human being.

Like that one time she was still too young to comprehend what devastating consequences her actions would entail, like all those times she sought to save those who found themselves lost and stranded in the maze of the blizzards, Fai traced a taut circle in the air, concentrating intently on the direction where she knew this person was stuck. Words familiar to her by heart came to her, and it took all willpower not to let her emotions get to the best of her as she recited the ancient but strong incantations.

_Ineh forze_  
dalai toh  
Preyearth amas  
sundrith moh 

Bit by bit the blizzard currents transfixed into one continuous direction. Immediately Fai felt another wave of pain hitting her abdominal areas and she clutched herself, biting on her lips so that she could still see far down the path to ensure her spell was going to make it all the way to the other end. 

_(Wind, snow_  
heed my call  
One path  
connect us all) 

By then Chii had ran out to the front to join her and in relief Fai collapsed into her companion. Breathing heavily the princess closed her eyes and muttered some few words softly as pale eyelids fluttered close.

_(Grant my wish)_

She was suddenly rushed to the other end of the path the princess had started clearing up where she saw herself stranded near the shack, fighting against the blizzard with her torch alit.

_(O’ Child of Ember…Can you save my sweet Child of Snow?)_

She knew what she had to do, and for the second time with torch in hand, Kurogane followed the path…

* * *

_In the moonlight I felt your heart_  
 _quiver like a bowstring's pulse_  
 _In the moon's pale light you looked at me_  
 _Nobody knows your heart_

_When the sun has gone I see you_  
 _Beautiful and haunting but cold_  
 _like the blade of a knife so sharp and sweet_  
 _Nobody knows your heart_

_All of your sorrow, grief and pain_  
 _locked away in the forest of the night_  
 _Your secret heart belongs to the world_  
 _Of the things that sigh in the dark_  
 _Of the things that cry in the dark_  
\- “Princess Mononoke” – Hayao Miyazaki; English translator unknown


	6. The Children of Ember and Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurogane has one more hurdle to overcome to save Fai's life before time runs out for the princess, and for her as well.

Hear my silent prayer  
Heed my quiet call  
When the dark and blue surround you

Step into my sigh  
Look inside the light  
You will know that I have found you

* * *

_She was burning deliriously, heat tearing away at her very own flesh, smoke choking her lungs, ashes clouding her vision. The pain was excruciating beyond relief, but she ignored it as she made her way to the frozen lake where she had encountered the haunting spirit of the last Queen of Snow. She was no longer there, but there in her place was her daughter, frail body imprisoned in shards of ice. They were laced everywhere, over her chest, frost on the tips of her hair, creeping past up her neck._

_She was dying – both of them were: one freezing and the other burning to their death, their souls clawing to be freed and join the ranks of those lurking in the air, screaming, wailing, mourning. But she still resisted caving into the pain of hot needles that were pinpricking on her skin and eating away at her chest as she hurried onward to the snow princess before time ran out. Her head was now completely encased in ice, growing over the outline of her face and spreading inward until they would cover her nose and mouth and cause her to suffocate and freeze to death. Her lips were dark blue, blue eyes fading away into snow white as they addressed those of fiery red._

_(You want to know why I’m happy in the snow?)_

_It was getting harder and harder to breathe for both of them. The ice grew over her nose and by then she could only see cold lips and pleading eyes._

_(Because I got to meet you.)_

_She screamed in pain as she pushed her hand, engulfed in flames and pressed one over her own heart._

_(I can’t die, I can’t die.)_

_The ice spread around the corners of the snow princess’ lips, but she pushed herself to place her other hand over where the princess’ heart laid, buried behind layers of ice._

_(I won’t let you die, I won’t let you die.)_

_Flames erupted deep within her chest, causing her head to spin violently as a wave of warmth spread from her heart, through her fingertips, and onto the frozen barrier killing her equal, melting the ice bit by bit. She could hear the ember spirits along with those of snow still wailing as the connection between the elements were achieved at last._

_Bit by bit the din of the spirits died down – and in lieu of dissonance a peaceful chorus echoed forth. All at once, floods of soothing relief overwhelmed her body, and across from her the snow princess was being brought back to life. She saw the same lady with long black hair that could only be her mother and the queen with sweeping golden hair encircling them. They smiled, embraced their daughters, and departed the realm of dreams with the other spirits, leaving the Princess of Ember and the Princess of Snow behind._

_All was well._

* * *

When we are gone, they will remain  
Wind and rock, fire and rain  
They will remain, when we return  
The wind will blow, and the fire will burn

* * *

Kurogane awoke with tears in her eyes. She blinked and let them run over her temples, for she could not wipe them away as her arms were heavy and in pain.

She was still holding onto Fai, and to the general’s relief the princess was no longer blue in the face. Yet Fai was still in a deep sleep, her lips pale and cheeks wet with pools of tears.

Kurogane had seen fragments of Fai’s past in the span of a dream in one night, and no doubt she had been affected by the heartbreaking memories. But those weren’t just echoes of painful events to the princess. They were years of her hardships and moments she had to go through, seeing her people and her homeland wither away. These were her secrets that she refused to share, and she didn’t dare betray her guilt and wretched feelings of loneliness through her body language and tone. And now that Kurogane had revisited Fai’s past in their shared dream, it was irreversible. The general could not feign ignorance on this matter when the princess wake up, and she wasn’t sure how Fai would act. Yet no matter what she would reassure Fai that she did not harbor any spite towards her.

Because through a chain of miracles, through a connection she established between the spirits of ember and snow, they were able to live. To go through that experience of near death, feeling that this sleep would be eternal, but only to wake up again and feel your heart beating and your chest breathing twice was a godsend. And for that, there was nothing that Kurogane would hold against Fai.

Bearing those thoughts in mind, Kurogane exhaled quietly as she kept her eyes lingered on Fai’s sleeping, tearstained face. Seeing the princess’ health slowly returning eased her. As if on instinct, Kurogane ran coarse fingers through Fai’s hair. The strands were stiff and cold, dead from all those years of the princess growing her hair out and exposing them to frost and snow, but they were still soothing, for her and perhaps for Fai as well. She stayed like that for a while, as if it was a meditative process for her to soak in all that had happened in just these past few days. 

Although the last fragments of her dream had told her that the ember spirits had been pacified for the moment, she was still unsure if she still had to continue trekking to the ruins of her homeland. For all she knew, the Kingdom of Ember was extremely dangerous, withered down to sunken rocks and molten lava – and if Fai’s health was directly tied to her frail kingdom was any indication, Kurogane would stand no chance if she dared cross feet on her own terrain. Perhaps she couldn’t risk ending her journey there anymore, but she still had time to think it through. For now, the general had to make do with Princess Fai’s outcome in mind.

Finally, she let go of Fai’s hair, letting long strands slip past her fingers before she carefully got out of the bed, making sure that the princess had as much warmth protecting her cold body as much as possible. Sure enough the blonde reacted from the absence of the general’s warmth. She shivered and curled into a fetal position, wrapping herself furthermore with her own cloak on top of the thick quilt. Without second thoughts, Kurogane retrieved her abandoned cloak from the ground and placed it on top of Fai, tucking it so that it hugged her cold body and then replaced the quilt over her. It was the least she could do as she set to prepare a meal.

Keeping the fire warm and high enough for Fai’s cauldron was still exhausting, but not as arduous as the time in the cave yesterday. The large fireplace was well designed to withstand the cold draught left in the shack. Kurogane roasted skewers of rabbit meat that she had caught, cleaned, and prepared a few days ago, while also simmering leftover soup she had found in Fai’s sack. These were all the remaining food supply they had left, much to her dismay, but nevertheless she felt it was important to sustain them with enough energy before their next course, whatever it may be. She remained crouched by the fireside cooking as the snowstorm howled outside of their shelter and as Fai slept, doing all she could to keep her mind focused on the present. After all, it seemed the worst was over for both of them, and she could afford to buy time to let Fai rest some more before feeding her. 

She wasn’t entirely sure how much time had passed as it was still dark and dreary outside the frosty windowpanes, but the general kept busy tending to the food and fire. They were safe and that was what mostly mattered. Just as she turned the rabbit meat over once again, Kurogane heard a sound from the bed. And then, she heard a faint croak from Fai.

“Don’t…”

Fetching a spare bowl of warm water she had prepared and heated on the side, Kurogane walked over to the bed and kneeled by the princess side where she was still in a deep sleep, murmuring away. Cold beads of sweat perspired down her temples, which were at the very least a good sign her body was warming up healthily again. Kurogane wiped them away from Fai’s eyelids as gently as she could, just as the blonde whimpered in her dreams again.

“Please, don’t…”

“ _Shhhhh._ ”

With one hand she lifted Fai’s head and supported it, and with the other she pressed the bowl of water towards her mouth. Pale lips trembled in response to the touch and parted open, allowing Kurogane to slowly nourish her. Some of it dripped past her mouth, but she managed to swallow some, resulting in a rather loud gulp. Fresh tears poured out of closed eyelids again. Not knowing what else to do, Kurogane crept away from the princess’ bedside.

“Don’t leave me.”

“I’m not,” the general said immediately, rather alarmed.

Somehow, Fai managed to snatch Kurogane’s free wrist.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m not –”

“Don’t leave me…Chii.”

 _Oh._

Embarrassed, Kurogane freed herself from Fai’s limp grip and left the bedside, flushing. Of course Fai was still dreaming, not actually worrying about Kurogane leaving her for good like the remaining survivors of her kingdom. Not that Kurogane would ever just leave Fai in her state of vulnerability in the first place.

Still, she thought it was better to be safe than sorry. Having nothing else to do, Kurogane helped herself to a portion of the sweet soup Fai had concocted yesterday and dragged the chair next to the bed so she could eat while keeping guard over the snow princess’ health. For the next hour or so, the only sounds were those of Kurogane eating, the hearth cackling, wind howling outside, and the light, soft breathings from Fai. During that time the general continued to assess what will need to happen next when Fai finally woke up. Since she was able to save her, it was clear that it was also her responsibility to preserve the snow native’s life. That destiny was now in her hands, yet ultimately it was still up to Fai to choose.

Kurogane then hoped Fai chose that option, and not the other one.

Just as she helped herself to the last portion of the soup, Fai stirred awake. She set aside the now empty bottle, but simply remained on the tattered chair just in case. With what Kurogane had seen of Fai’s history through their shared dreams, she knew it wouldn’t be easy for Fai to accept her changed fate. Yet even so, she would just have to talk the princess through no matter what, for her life was her very own responsibility. It wasn’t quite the same as her pledged loyalty to protect Princess Tomoyo at all cost, but a promise was a promise. 

Pale eyelids fluttered open and familiar crystal blue eyes slowly registered their surroundings. A gasp of pain and surprise followed as Fai struggled to prop herself up from the pillow.

“Don’t move.”

Fai fell back on her elbows and winced just as she acknowledged the general’s watchful presence.

“Lady Kurogane…”

Ignoring the princess’ customary address for her – or perhaps she was far more used to it by now – Kurogane helped Fai propped her head against the pillow.

“I’ll get some soup.”

“Why?” Fai said, puzzled.

“Because you’re still not well.”

Fai shook her head. “I can help myself.” She pushed, but as she tried to sit taller, her body caved in protest, causing her to fall back on the pillow. 

“Look here,” Kurogane said, close to a growl.

She remembered blood on the snow, Fai frozen to the spot, turning blue and caving into hypothermia. That was worse than any condition Kurogane had ever been in, even in this dying kingdom, and it was exasperating to see Fai being so stubborn. Furious, Kurogane inched closer towards the bed and stared back at the princess sternly.

“Your body went through a lot yesterday to put up the snow for us. It’s a miracle we’re still alive. So put still while I’ll get soup.”

But instead of reassuring Fai that she would be in charge of helping her recuperate as she had hoped, the princess grimaced in anguish. Realizing what she had just said, rather bluntly, and how that would affect Fai, Kurogane regretted those words. In front of her eyes, Fai was trembling, _badly_.

“Why, why did you?”

“So sorry,” Kurogane blurted. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Dropping all harsh pretenses, Kurogane slipped on the bed without preamble and held Fai’s shaking wrist, who surprisingly did not force her away. Fai bit on her lip, desperately looking left and right as if she was distracting herself from giving herself away from Kurogane. But it was too late. The general watched nearly helplessly as for the second time since they met Fai choked on her words.

“Why did you save me?”

She burst into tears, even wailed, as Kurogane stood there frozen, not knowing what to say or do as Fai cried into her chest. Nothing she could say would be mildly comforting, for she was not used to soothing others, like how Princess Tomoyo was for her growing up. So instead, she merely used her free hand and patted Fai’s back, even running her fingers through matted hair occasionally. Either Fai was lost in her grief or she didn’t mind at all, but Kurogane continued doing that, for she felt in a way it would help. But Fai was crying and that was good because she wasn’t holding back any secrets or her pains anymore, so Kurogane let her cry for some more until she caught some breaths and wiped her nose on her dress sleeves.

“After all I did to endanger you,” she said between sobs. “Why?”

“Because…” Kurogane untangled her fingers from long, wispy hair and curled them neatly into a relaxed fist, holding it by her side.

“Because in the end, you still saved my life. And that matters, so don’t you dare say anything otherwise.”

Fai slowly ceased weeping, pulling away so that Kurogane could see her better. Tears still clung to golden eyelashes. Kurogane swiped her thumbs around pale eyelids, wiping them away while her warm hands brought some warmth back to Fai’s cold cheeks. Blue eyes widen at her sudden kind and comforting gesture, to which Kurogane reacted by retreating her hand away, casting her own eyes sideway while flushing. 

“Now you’re going to eat, whether you like it or not,” she said, but more so out of embarrassment. 

Fai didn’t say anything, which she took it as a good sign. As she slipped off of the bed, Fai pulled the general’s cloak around her, reacting to the lack of Kurogane’s own warmth. The hearth was still going, but it had weakened over the course of time. She quickly regenerated it back to a healthier level to keep the entire shack warm, and then filled a bottle with soup, which she brought it back to Fai. Blowing the steam away, she settled back on the bed and held out the bottle, offering her assistance.

The princess struggled to hold back a small smile, but she succumbed. “So kind of you, like a true lady.”

“Stop it with the ‘lady’ remarks already,” Kurogane retorted. _She_ , however, managed to suppress her own smile in return.

“Just eat.”

And eat Fai did. It still took some time as Kurogane had to judge how much to tip the bottle at a time so as to not flood Fai’s mouth and face with the hot content. As the princess drained the contents she saw warmth slowly returning to her face. Her eyes started welling again, but whether that was because she was still touched by all of Kurogane’s efforts or if it was because the soup was too hot, the general didn’t know. Either way, Fai managed to finish. Settling the bottle aside, Kurogane decided it was time to start getting into the heart of several matters.

“You put something in the soup, didn’t you,” she said.

“Yes,” Fai affirmed. “But it wasn’t what you would expect. It wasn’t a healing spell. I added some herbs then put a spell to enhance them. That’s why you were able to recover fast yesterday.

“You look surprised,” she said, noticing how Kurogane was speechless. “You’re probably wondering about something. Yes, it is true that every time I use my magic under this kingdom’s condition I am approaching closer to my own death. But I suppose I should be good. For now.” 

If Fai had brought up this information the moment she was dying outside in the frigid snow, Kurogane would have been upset at the knowledge that the princess had put herself through much harm to help her. It still did bother her to an extent, but if anything, the dreams and the visitations from the spirits last night were assuring. And the thing was, it seemed that Fai understood that her self-deprecation and sacrifices had upset the general, so perhaps the snow native was already well on her way to forgiveness. Even if the road to forgiveness would be hard from what Kurogane imagined. 

In a spell of silence, Fai glanced where the door was and fixed her eyes on it, not saying anything else for now. She frowned.

“Chii is gone.”

That surprised Kurogane.

“What happened to her?”

“The spell has been broken,” Fai said. “And I believe you know more than I can ever hope to hide.”

Snippets of the dream, of Fai’s memories resurfaced. In her mind, Kurogane saw young Fai procuring her first creature in the castle’s library, Fai bringing Chii with her to their new home, the princess ignoring her companion while she mourned for her knight, and then Fai crying into Chii’s fur the night she broke down after all those years. Chii – her confidante, her guiding companion, and the vassal of her late mother’s soul, as well as the source of the mysterious voice from last night.

“Your mother called to me.”

“Yes,” Fai’s lips started to tremble. She bit on them. “In my weakened state, I heard Mother’s voice calling out to me, to you. She showed you my past, _everything_ in our dream. I didn’t want her to, but there was nothing I could do to stop her. I never wanted anyone to see the sins I have committed in my youth.”

In a narrow distance she saw Fai fighting to hold back tears, but the princess was still exhausted in her state, and so they fell, highlighting her sorrowful blue eyes.

“I don’t understand,” Fai whispered, choking. “Yesterday was supposed to be my last day of living in the physical world. Death was waiting for me, waiting to finalize the contract I made all those years ago to die with the kingdom. But then you showed up and I had to save you. I didn’t mean to keep you for that long, but before I knew it, I craved for more company. And as a result, I put you in harm’s way again. So I don’t get why…” 

“That’s enough.” 

Kurogane let out a disgruntled sigh and squeezed Fai’s shoulder. 

“Look, I don’t know why she decided to show me all of your past, and I would never asked for it like that. It wasn’t any of my business and it isn’t up to me to judge you. But she did, and I was able to save you anyways.”

There was a catch in the blonde’s breath as the general gave her a stern but sympathetic look.

“But now I understand why you never wanted me or anyone else to find out your past. You were afraid that I wouldn’t ever forgive you and hate you, the way you’d hated yourself for what had happened to your people, and for holding me back and endangering my life and yours, when all this time you did what you did because you were lonely.”

At the affirmation of her true feelings that she had been holding back all those years and all that very long day yesterday, the princess wept violently. But it was healthy, it was cathartic for her, and Fai had no reason to hold back her pain anymore, being so open and vulnerable, trusting the general, so Kurogane let her cry against her chest once more because she knew things could only progress for the better from here. When her crying subsided, Fai spoke once more.

“All this time, I only had one wish. Even though I was bound to remain isolated in my kingdom until our deaths were aligned as a bargain and punishment, I still wanted companionship, more than just from Chii and the snow spirits and the beauty of my homeland. It grieved me beyond words to not be able to spare anyone from the wretched curse this world was put in because of what had happened. So when I was able to save you from death and nursed you back to health, talk to you and even smile as if I wasn’t going to die in a matter of hours, I thought that at the very least I could die feeling so warm and happy at last.”

As Fai let out a weary sigh, Kurogane’s mind wandered back to that harrowing moment when Fai was caving into her severe hypothermia, expressing at last her true feelings of being happy to have met her. At that time the general was at a loss for all that was going on, but moved. And now, after all she had seen, after all she had heard coming from Fai’s words, something soothing stirred deep within her. She couldn’t pinpoint what it really was, but it reminded her of home and comfort, of the late nights in her childhood when Princess Tomoyo calmed her when she had nightmares. Love may be what she was feeling. Not like how she loved her princess as a mother matron and master, nor her past relationships with other guards, but it was there, and as strange as she had known Fai for only two days, she felt it was just as natural as anything else. 

“The last thing I dreamed was Mother saying goodbye to me and leaving me for good, saying that it’s time for me to let go and move on because someone will take care of me. And then – I woke up, not realizing that I had lived until you were there, too. You have to understand, Lady Kurogane, that I never would have thought that I would survive. I still – I still don’t know how to react or what to do or even...”

“It’s alright,” Kurogane said. She went to wipe away the tear stains from Fai’s face again, much accustomed to it.

“You told me yesterday that the ember spirits watched over me when I got stranded, and came to my rescue when I fell before blanking out. Perhaps the snow spirits wanted the same for you, too.”

“It can’t be,” Fai protested, faintly shaking her head. “Once I made my word to stay until my very last breath, they put the seal on me.”

“Just listen for a moment,” Kurogane said, in near exasperation. Fai stopped, startled.

“Maybe you weren’t able to remember this part of the dream – if I could even call it a dream. But towards the end, I saw you. You were about to freeze to death, but I managed to free you. And when I did, I heard all of the spirits sighing in relief. You know more about the connections between us humans and the elements more than I could ever know, but I feel like what just happened then, what happened this whole time, was something that ultimately helped set them and us free. So no matter what either of us wanted, the spirits told us something. Something clear to me as soon as I woke up.”

Realization dawned on Fai. Blue eyes widened, letting Kurogane know that she was beginning to accept all of this. One pale hand clutched tighter on the general’s clothing as Kurogane closed their distance at last by wrapping on arm around Fai and embraced her.

“They wanted us to live, Princess.”

“I…see.” Fai rested her head on Kurogane’s shoulder. “That’s why all of the other spirits are no longer here, just like Chii. I don’t hear or feel their presence anymore.”

Kurogane found her fingers resting lightly around Fai’s hair but then stopped. At the very least, she was relieved that Fai was taking all of this as well as she could in spite of all that had happened to her.

“You know, I still don’t get why she attacked me outside of the cave that night.”

“Oh that?” Fai said, breaking into a smile that nearly took Kurogane’s breath away. The general caught herself, however, and simply waited for her answer.

“I guess I should apologize first. When I told you that I was away when Chii attacked you, it was a lie. I was still inside the cavern, upholding my spell in hopes of guiding you to safety.”

Kurogane nodded, remembering the last bit of the dream where Fai struggled to help her out in spite of Chii’s warning. Fai continued.

“Chii isn’t any name I came up with. Chii means ‘mother guardian’ in my people’s ancient tongue. As much as I am the creator of Chii, she hosted my mother’s spirit at times in need. So when you arrived at the cavern’s mouth, bearing your mother’s sacred torch, my mother overtook Chii completely. And before I knew it, she was outside, attacking you, because she only meant to protect me and discover who you really were. Once she and I saw your torch burning sporadically like that, we knew you were the lost heir of the Kingdom of Ember. I never thought about it until now, but I think all along, Mother thought you would be the one to save me, even when I was resigned to my fate all these years.” 

By then Fai was choking on tears. She rubbed them away immediately, laughing even.

“I’m sorry. I can’t stop crying. You really have no idea how much all of you have done means to me.”

“Maybe I can’t fully understand,” Kurogane said, feeling her cheeks flare again. “But I mean – I couldn’t just leave you out there.”

“I think I accept that by now, Lady Kurogane,” she said, warmth returning to her voice at last. “I just don’t know how I can ever pay you back.” 

“You got to stop thinking like that,” Kurogane admonished, cutting off Fai once again. “Honestly, as long as you’re alive, that’s good enough for me. But there’s something else that I was thinking about.”

Maybe, maybe now was the time to bring this up, what she had in mind the entire time she waited for Fai to wake up.

“Yes?”

“I was wondering – maybe you would come with me back to the Land of the Lotus Blossoms. Princess Tomoyo, who I serve as you know, will welcome you with open arms. Her people will, too. It might be too of a sudden, but staying here would do you no good. But as much as you were able to live because of me and your spirits, it is solely up to you to decide what you want to do.”

There, she had finally said it. All along Kurogane thought it would be best if Fai came with her. The Princess of Snow would have to leave her homeland forever and immerse herself into the greater world, not to mention adopt a new place completely foreign to her as her home. For the first time in many years, Fai would be surrounded by people everywhere, who were safe and were not at the mercy of nature, dying brutally by the numbers. Such a culture shock and exposure to a thriving society of living and breathing people would most likely impose a lot of pain and unease for her. But in Kurogane’s mind, it was the best course for Fai’s fate. And now, it was up to Fai to choose. 

“I…”

Words failed to surface for Fai. Her mouth was left hanging open, speechless at the general’s offer. The invitation to go to Kurogane’s homeland was not something to take lightly, and Kurogane understood that Fai wouldn’t take her words as easily. She would be patient to hear what Fai had to say. But regardless, she stood by her offer. 

“Do you really want me to stay with you?”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Kurogane said hotly. “I mean – yeah, we could see each other in the province at least, but you know, so long as you come along that would be good enough –”

“There’s really no need to make that much of a fuss, Lady Kurogane,” Fai said rather coolly. However, there was a hint of slyness in her sharp retort, which caused the general to flush even harder than she already was. Kurogane cleared her throat.

“I guess, I mean.” She forced down the funny feeling in her stomach.

“Yeah.”

She counted to ten silently in her head. Within that short amount of time, she expected Fai to laugh and tease her furthermore. Or even worse, feel ashamed and crippled and then withdraw into self-deprecation again, refusing to even consider the notion of going back to the Land of the Lotus Blossoms with her. But instead Kurogane felt a head over her shoulder and arms wrapped tightly around her waist. Touched by the princess’ embrace, the general ran a hand through long hair once more.

“My mother always wanted to protect me no matter what even after she died to hold up the kingdom. She never left me to perish on my own, until today when I was able to survive and let her and all of the snow spirits rest in peace for eternity. Now that I am no longer under the service of anyone, living or dead, I won’t let my life and hopes be thrown away so easily. Not anymore.”

By then, she was sobbing.

“So I want to. I want to go with you. I never want to be alone or abandoned ever again.” 

“I understand,” Kurogane said. She was relieved. There were no regrets. All was at ease and everything urgent was settled for the better. “And you won’t be this time.”  
Fai then let go of Kurogane, rubbing at her eyes, smiling.

“I don’t know how I – words can’t express just how much I’m feeling right now. So thank you, on behalf of my people and myself, with all of my heart.” 

For a brief moment, Kurogane drank in Fai’s words of gratitude and then let go of pale yellow strands.

“Good. Soon as you heal enough and pack up everything you need, we’re heading out of this blizzard. It’s best if we stop by the Land of the Cherry Blossoms first and rest there, then continue further south until we reach my homeland. Think you’ll be fine travelling for at least three months?” 

“It will not be easy,” Fai said, still resting among the pillow, “but I will manage. After all, I have been able to survive in this barren land for years.”

“True,” Kurogane affirmed.

Letting the course of their emotional exchange die down, the general went to the fireplace, where the meat jerky was still roasting. The flames had been dying down, owing to her absence from it while tending to Fai. She set to make it roar back to life, the warmth tickling her cold hands and heating the entire shack. Meanwhile she heard Fai slowly getting out. It was miraculous how much energy the princess still had in her. After all, her body caved into the previous day. Perhaps the spirits had lent her more energy over the course of last night, and then there was also the heat that Kurogane fought to transfer as well. 

“Hey, don’t push yourself.”

Fai laughed. “I’ll be fine.” 

But then she doubled over, clasping at her rib. Kurogane was about to leave the fireside without any second thoughts, but right away the princess supported herself on the table, panting heavily but still beaming.

“See?”

Kurogane shook her head in part disapproval and part amusement. She then busied herself back to finish cooking the meat, which will be substantial for their next meal when they safely leave the borders of this kingdom. Fai went around gathering all of her own supplies that were stashed in the nooks and crannies of the shack. She moved about slowly and in pain, but it eased Kurogane that the princess was in remarkably good spirits. 

It was admirable in a way, for someone like Fai who had lived nearly her whole life in resignation to severe loneliness and deep remorse to turn her attitude around and embrace a second chance at life and hope. When she thought about it, it wasn’t just Kurogane’s pursuit to save her that enabled her to live. There was more to it. It was the princess’ own strength, deep within layers of sadness and despair that had ultimately changed her fate. 

Once the meat was fully cooked and packed safely among everything else in her sack, Kurogane went to check on Fai, who was also finishing up retrieving her items. There weren’t much left in the shack to begin with, and Kurogane traced it to the fact that Fai had simply known that her days were dwindling now. Of course now that had been altered dramatically. Kurogane hoped Fai’s severe shortage of supplies would not jeopardize her health than it already had been all these years. Spring was coming soon, so food in the greater world should become abundant. Other necessities such as healing supplies and the like would have to be replenished as soon as they arrived in the Land of the Cherry Blossoms.

Just as Kurogane secured on her armor and thick cloak, she saw Fai approaching her. She too had put on her beloved white cloak adorned with blue intricate patterns.

“May I borrow your dagger?”

Kurogane raised her eyebrows. “Why?”

“I need it for something important that I must do before I embark on our journey,” Fai said firmly. There was her serious tone again. As Kurogane assessed her, she noticed nothing but coolness in those crystal blue eyes. She sighed and withdrew her dagger from her belt, pulling it out of the sheath.

“Thank you,” the princess said. 

She retreated to the fireplace, where she dropped her large hood. Bit by bit, Fai pulled her long hair out from its hiding place, gathering as much as she could in one hand and holding the dagger towards it with the other. She was going to cut it all off. 

In awe and wonder, Kurogane witnessed Fai running the prized dagger through her hair, until the last of the strands were cut through. All at once, bundles of sun silk hair dropped to the floor, revealing the back of her neck. No longer weighed down with it, Fai turned around, her hair now above her shoulder and framing her face. She smiled upon seeing Kurogane’s stunned expression.

“I suppose Lady Kurogane thinks this makes me look livelier?” she said in that old, familiar lilting voice. Kurogane balked, turning pink. Fai laughed.

“You see, it is custom for the ruler who has stepped down from the throne to severe their hair, which they have grown since they inherited it. The heavy weight and length represent all of the spirits that have come before them and how they are chained to uphold our holy element and our people. Once they are no longer bound to our holy element and divine spirits, they must cut off their hair as a symbol of the liberation from their duties.”

She returned to the general’s side and handed back the dagger, which Kurogane sheathed back in her belt.

“So before we leave my beloved homeland, I needed to do this, for I am no longer chained to the spirits and our holy element. And I must say it does feels…nice.”

“And convenient too,” Kurogane added, finally finding something to say. Fai seemed pleased at her remark and proceeded to pull the hood back over her head. She was still smiling slyly at her.

“What?” 

“Oh nothing,” Fai said. “Except that you seem positively back to your usual self, Lady Kurogane.”

She scowled, which only confirmed Fai’s observation. “Yeah – well you, too. So stop saying things like that.”

But regardless, Fai was receiving her warmly, truly for the first time. It was a new feeling, something that Kurogane liked. She hoped it would stay like that from now on.

“I guess it’s time to say goodbye to this place,” Fai said. She pulled up her hood. “You may light your torch.”

And Kurogane did. With the fireplace snuffed out, they left the shack. This was it. There was no going back, and this time, Fai had her heart set on a new future just as much as Kurogane.

The blizzard was still fierce, but miraculously not as severe as yesterday when Fai collapsed and Kurogane hurried them both to shelter with the assistance of Chii. Fai stared at the direction where the border lied and concentrated, drawing a circle in the air and reciting the powerful spell one last time. Using the magic overwhelmed her, causing her to tumble. Kurogane caught her promptly, scowling but concerned. The princess assured her she would be alright, which the general relented. With that said, she raised her torch and together they stepped in tandem, following the clear path Fai’s spell had carved for them.

Who knew, Kurogane thought, that two days ago she was on the way to the ruins of the Kingdom of Ember. But after getting lost in the perimeters of the Kingdom of Snow, maneuvering her way to the cavern and nearly freezing to death in the process, and meeting the last survivor of this land, nothing turned out as she had thought it would months ago when she prepared her trip with Princess Tomoyo. Now, she was going to return to home sweet home, with Fai in tow with her. She would introduce her to her princess’ audience and explain to her matron mother in private her desire to welcome Fai to her new home. Surely nothing would ever be quite the same. 

And yet, Kurogane felt more at peace than ever since she started having those feverish nightmares.

“Lady Kurogane?”

She could barely hear her new travelling companion in the howling wind. 

“Yeah?”

“I am aware that you were planning to visit your place of origin, the neighboring Kingdom of Ember. I know it was really important to you to tend to your mission. However, I’m afraid once we leave this place the route to it will be blocked off. Or we will have to take a more dangerous path, and I’m not sure if it will be safe for either of us. I’m afraid all of it is due to my actions, and I –”

“Didn’t I tell you earlier to stop blaming yourself like that?” Kurogane yelled, against the harsh winds.

“I know,” Fai yelled back, “but I still feel bad that you weren’t able to see your native place.”

“Yeah, I thought about it. But there’s no need to anymore. I used to dream that the ember spirits were at unrest, which was why I had to go there in the first place. But now that they are at peace it’s fine. Besides, we need to take you to the Land of the Cherry Blossoms first. Now, no more talking or else we’ll get defeated by the snow again.”

For the rest of the trek towards the border they were silent. Fai kept the spell at bay the best she could while Kurogane harnessed the power of her torch for them to see well ahead. The walk was not as arduous as the previous days, which they owed it to them being further away from the center of the kingdom, but it was still grueling nonetheless. Both of them were still battling exhaustion from the previous day, and so they leaned against each other for support. Kurogane was glad to get out of this place, but she couldn’t say if it was the same for Fai. Once they got out of there she would have to check on the princess.

Bit by bit, the furious snow started to lessen, and the wind started to quiet down. It even grew lighter the further they went down south. The prospect of seeing some greenery – tufts of grass and new flower buds poking through snow, and the sounds of animals instilled strength in the general. It had felt like an eternity since she last saw life, aside from Fai. She knew how much it would mean for the princess to see the wonders of thriving nature again. 

And then finally, they reached the border. Together, they crossed the other side, and stepped out of harm’s way. 

Kurogane lowered her torch. She helped Fai over to a large boulder on the ground, where they sat down, both panting for breath. The general then reached for her water pouch, which she helped herself to some before passing it to the princess. It was now past mid-afternoon, judging from the location of the sunlight in the much clearer sky.

“How are you feeling, Princess, now that we have left the Kingdom of Snow for good?”

Fai paused from drinking. “It’s overwhelming.”  
She couldn’t hide her somber expression, however.

“It is never easy to leave the land I call my home, the land I love so much. But like I have expressed to you once, Lady Kurogane, I know everything will be alright. Even if my kingdom now lies in ruin for eternity, and my people and I are forever gone, the connection between the element and us will never truly fade away. For as long as there is snow and as long as I am alive, I will always feel that connection. It is everywhere, the same one that bounded my beloved mother to our holy element, and my ancestors before her.”

Just then, dark clouds rolled in. Sheets of snow fell softly from the sky, unlike the harsh and steady onslaught in the kingdom that now lie in ruins behind them. Kurogane watched as Fai held out her hand, letting snowflakes drop and melt in her thick gloves. Some landed on her golden eyelashes, where tears coalesced. Fai blinked them back and stood up. She walked closer to an evergreen tree. It stood tall and firm in their surroundings, green branches peeking out and teemed with life. Fai brushed against the thick bark, feeling it, reveling in its lively majesty. Finally, she dropped her hood and began to explore the rest of the scenery around them while Kurogane remained in her spot on the boulder.

She slowly spun in a circle, admiring the wilderness. Blue eyes widen in awe as she took in the breathtaking view of the ground, the trees, and the expanse of the horizon where peeks of sunlight still filtered through the dark clouds. For the first time in a while, there was true liveliness in her eyes. Kurogane was reminded of that time when they were leaving the cave and Fai was unusually radiant. And now Fai was fully lively. She scanned the perimeters one last time, let out a nice, long breath.

“It’s beautiful,” Fai remarked. 

And just like when she was a young girl, happy and warm and loved, the Princess of Snow spread her arms out and twirled under the falling snowflakes, dancing with her beloved element. Snow was not harming anyone anymore – it was there, falling, nourishing the earth with water supply, following a natural cycle. All was not lost for Fai as Kurogane reveled in the joy the scenery brought to the princess.

So enchanting it was that for a moment it seemed like there was no other worries. But then it was getting late, and they had to walk further before Kurogane could locate an abandoned cabin she remembered from her earlier trek where they could camp for the night. It was a shame she had to stop Fai from her moment of peace and happiness, but there really was no way out of it. 

She stood up and walked to where Fai was, lost in her state of blissful revelry, and gently placed a hand on her arm. 

“Yes, Lady Kurogane?” she said, smiling, cheeks flushed pink from the cold, but never had Kurogane seen Fai look so positively happy and radiating until now.

The general smiled back.

“Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I would love to continue writing their saga and develop their relationship as they travel back to Kurogane's home, I just don't have the time with school and billions of other WIPs I sorely need to tend to. Plus the story I based it on ended with twenty year old Kurogane taking teenage Fai, who's a homeless youth and fell asleep on the snowy street, to his home. So therefore, it felt natural to wrap up _Princess of Snow_ here. There's a high chance I will write some timestamps set in the future, so you never know~
> 
> I can't sign out without citing song lyrics and passages I used in several chapters. The opening epithet is from a passage in a book by Carl Jung, a well known humanistic psychologist. I thought it was very appropriate for the setting I was building. The song lyrics for the end of the fifth chapter is straight from the movie _Princess Mononoke_ by Hayao Miyazaki. In fact, many elements were inspired by the movie's nature versus human theme. The first song lyrics in the final chapter comes from "Dreamcatcher" by Secret Garden. And lastly, the ending song lyric is from "When We Are Gone" by Anne Hill and Starhawk, which is a closing chant for a Pagan ritual.
> 
> Overall, I am damn proud of this fic. Considering genderbender AU is something that isn't really huge, I am really grateful to all of you who take the time to read this. Thank you!


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